Friday, March 20, 2009


A couple of days ago I had a conversation with Shannon about how I really should quit drinking caffeine altogether, because both my parents have high blood pressure, so me drinking coffee on top of the added family history increases my chances of having it when I'm older. Except the thing is, as long as I'm still in school, I forsee a need for coffee, because it wakes me up in the morning after a late night of studying. But lately I've been feeling these spurts of rapid heartbeating for a few seconds, and then my heartbeat gets normal again. It's kind of scary. I might want to get a physical soon...

Also, rehearsals for my one-act are going extremely well. We're off book already. I'm a little nervous though, since we don't have rehearsal again until a week from Monday, because of tech week for Ragtime next week, which I'm involved in. But I think it'll be okay. I'm really anxious to get a set up for these guys. I'm tired of having for them to imagine walls and doors. Now that we're off book, this is really the time for them to start getting the feel for the play and polish up all the little details that really make a play. And an actual set helps with that. On a good note, however, I asked a friend of mine to sit in on my rehearsal last night, and he suggested moving around two pieces of furniture. I did, and it opened up the set so much! Mind (and eye) was completely blown! It still astounds me how switching two set pieces can make so much difference. Last night's rehearsal was really productive and beneficial. We fixed a lot of problems with one particular scene, which makes me really happy. Honestly, this one-act is the thing I have going this semester that I care the most about. If I can put on a great show, then this whole semester will be worth it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Conducting vs. Directing/excercising/coffee addiction

I continue to feel torn between my two majors: music and theatre. I feel each tugging me in separate directions. I want to go to graduate school, but I feel each major begging me, "Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" and I don't know which one to study in graduate school. I love both directing plays and conducting. I love the control I have with both. There's a certain balance between control and letting go and letting things happen. In conducting, I love the fact that my hands start to shake almost violently with nervousness and excitement and exhilaration everytime I conduct, and continue to shake for several minutes afterwards. With directing, I love shaping the actors, and leading them to where I want them to be, and also letting them suprise me with wonderful interpretations that I didn't expect. I could go on and on about both of these for longer than I probably should. Maybe I could get a double masters degree.... That would solidify my insanity. Slash it would take me forever.

On another note, I am extremely excited for the Kapelle Home Concert on Saturday at 7:30pm in the Chapel of Our Lord! You should come! It will be amazing!

On yet another completely separate subject, Spring Tour has made me lazy. It has made me not want to exercise and not want to eat healthy. I can't even remember the last time I exercised. I'll start exercising again next week. I think it'll be tough to get back in the groove. I might have to build back up to it.

Today I was thinking about when I realized I was addicted to caffeine. It was several months ago, and I was writing a paper and really stressed out and going nuts. I got some coffee from the Library Cafe at school (cuz I was writing a paper in the library) and I took a sip and just sighed, and suddenly everything was ok. I wasn't stressed out anymore. I was even almost relaxed. And then I realized, if coffee is making me relaxed, and making me breathe sighs of relief, then I'm definitely addicted to caffeine. I've been thinking about replicating that sigh of relief I feel when I'm super stressed and have a drink of coffee so that I can be not stressed out and relaxed more often, without the aid of my legal addictive substance of choice. I feel like it would be a great accomplishment if I could achieve this.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Last week was my spring break, and I went with Kapelle on our Spring Tour to CALIFORNIA! It was so amazing. I want to go back to California so bad. Everywhere we went was beautiful, even in the desert. What's also great is that we went from being slightly less than prepared to having at least half the program memorized. We're not using music for quite a few pieces. The program has really grown on me. I can honestly say that I enjoy singing every piece, while there are a few pieces that are my favorites. Like Abendlied. The text is "stay with us, Lord, for it is evening, and the day is almost over." The music reflects this. The harmonic language has a certain tension, pleading, and almost urgent desperation for Christ to stay with us. That's probably my favorite in the whole program.

Chicago just isn't nearly as awesome as California. Besides the fact that coming back to Chicago means back to reality, back to school, and back to doing actual work, Chicago...smells funny. I know this sounds weird and kind of minor, but smell is kind of a big deal to me. Certain smells are associated with certain memories. I like different smells, particularly nice ones. Everywhere we went in California smelled better than Chicago. Chicago smells dirty, crowded, and polluted. California smells...relaxed, (good), fresh. I miss it.

There was also so much open space in California. A lot of our drives was just this vast expanse of land. There's places where there's nothing but miles and miles of unsettled hills and mountains. It all really put God's glory and majest into perspective. It was so breathtaking, and I was kind of left speechless by it.

I can honestly say, that I would live in Califonia if I could. But there are things here in the midwest that I love more. So I will stay.