Thursday, April 26, 2012

Not All Redheads Are Created Equal

Internet, meet Shelbie.
Photo Courtesy of Shelbie Moore

Now, meet me.
Photo is mine.
Shelbie and I work together at Starbucks. I know, I know. Two redheads working at the same place? It's a wonder we didn't make the place explode. And what's more? We actually get along. Crazy, right?

There's only one problem.

People can't manage to tell us apart. Roughly 50% of the times people address me, I get called "Shelbie."
You can't imagine how infuriating this is.
I suppose I should also mention that Shelbie never gets called "Leah." One can only conclude that people only think that Shelbie works at Starbucks and not me.

I guess my view of us is tainted, since I'm the one being forgotten. But if you ask me, the only thing similar about us is our hair color.
Different body types. Eye color. Complexion, despite what the photos may portray. (Shelbie is heavily freckled. I am not.) If you dyed my hair brown, we would look completely different. I am certain that if that happened, I would never get called "Shelbie" again.

Dying my hair could be a solution, yes. But that would not solve the problem. The problem is the general population, friends. 

Do people think that all redheads look alike simply because of our hair? 

I'm telling you, begging you, take a little time and study the details about us before you mix us up. 

Would you mix up these redheaded celebrities? Probably not. 

Rupert Grint--Source

Conan O'Brien--Source

Isla Fisher-Source

Julianne Moore--Source

See, friends? All of these redheads look different. DIFFERENT. Now go look up at the pictures of Shelbie and me. DIFFERENT. See? 

Before you mix up two redheads, just remember. We're not the same. Would you like it if someone mixed you up with another person just because the only similarity you had was hair color? Probably not.  
Our names are not interchangeable just because our hair color is the same.

Just remember, kids.

Not all redheads are created equal.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

How To Make Us Angry

I almost wrote about naps again guys, because I got home from work and I took the BEST NAP EVER. I might be up super late tonight, but that's a minor detail because, guys, BEST NAP EVER.

I've posted a few times about my job at Starbucks. I'd post links to them but, let's be honest, I'm far too lazy for that. And most of you wouldn't click the links anyway. But the point is, I've got another Starbucks post for you. Yesterday a customer was rude to me. Kind of an understatement, really. He yelled at me, leaving me only able to stammer out an "I'm sorry" to something that didn't really deserve an "I'm sorry."

But don't feel sorry for me friends, it's the perils of the job. The point of this post is not a pity party. The point of this post is that I'm really looking out for you, friends. So here you go:

4 Ways to Piss Off Your Barista
1. Say "um" or "uh" a lot when ordering. 
For example:
"I'll have a, uh, grande, um, no, venti uh, caramel mocha, um, frappuccino."

It's possible this is merely a pet peeve of my own brought on my the speech class I took freshman year of college. (Thanks, Julie!) However, it would be a little less annoying if you thought of what drink you wanted before you started speaking, instead of thinking after speaking.

2. Get offended when we can't read your mind.
"I wanted that iced!"
"Um, I wanted no whipped cream."
"That was supposed to be hot!"

Did you say any of those things when you ordered? I can tell you the answer is no, because I was there. I remember. We're not mind readers, we're just your baristas. If you want a drink hot or iced, or without whipped cream, or with soy milk, you have to tell us. Don't get an attitude with me just because you forgot to tell us part of your drink order. That's not our fault.

3.  Look at your phone and not at me.

I'm not a robot. I'm a person, and it's nice to be recognized as such. With, you know,  eye contact and stuff. You remember what that is, right? It's that thing people do before there were smart phones when they looked each other in the eye when they spoke to each other? Oh gosh, how do I break this down for you. . . kind of like when people Skype each other? Does that make sense?

4. Make mountains out of molehills.

I'm just going to say it. It's just coffee. It's curing cancer or anything. While I realize that an experience with us can make your day, and I do take my job seriously, it's frustrating when people treat it like it's the end of the world when we forget something. Please understand that we're only human. We forget things just like you do. It's not a big deal to take the whipped cream off of your drink. It's not a big deal to remake it for you, we want to get it right. I don't understand why you think it's the end of the world when I forget you said you didn't need your coffee ground and have you ask you again, so you yell at me and storm out without your coffee.*

So friends, if you want to make life a little bit more difficult for your friendly neighborhood barista, by all means do the things I listed above. But don't say I didn't warn you. Just remember. Baristas are people, too. We work hard. We have feelings. All we really want to do is make you good coffee.

*Not that that really happened to me...or anything.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Confessions of a Closet Cat Lady

I have a great, big, gigantic confession to make, guys.

I am secretly a crazy cat lady. 

A cat lady with no cats.

Reason? I'm allergic. Also, my roommate isn't a cat person. Also, I'm too poor for a pet.

So I suppose my body is saving me from myself. Because if I weren't allergic, I could easily become one of those crazy cat ladies who talks about cats, and posts pictures of cats, and owns 10 cats, and loves cats and not people.

But this isn't the point. The point is CATS.

I know guys, I know what you're saying. "Cats? Leah. Come on. No."

It was a couple of weeks ago when I finally realized just how far gone I was. See, I work with two other cat ladies. Every time I found something about cats online, or watched a show about cats on Animal Planet, (There's one called "Must Love Cats," where the guy travels around meeting people with cats and going to places that are cat-related, and there's another one called "Too Cute!" that's just about kittens!) I found myself wondering "Do they know about this yet? Have they seen it? I should tell them just in case." 

My place as a crazy cat lady was solidified when a college classmate of mine posted this website on his facebook.

If you skipped clicking on the link, I'll wait.

Did you click it? Good.

Yep. A website where you look at pictures of cute cats and click on the one that's cuter.

I found myself wasting entirely too much time on this website. Because CUTE CATS, GUYS.

It doesn't matter if you love cats or hate cats. You have to admit, they're entertaining.  Whether they're plotting to kill you, starting fights with your dog, meowing so that it sounds like "hello,"

or getting boxes stuck on their heads,

 or getting stuck in the blinds, (This one is my favorite!)

or even just sleeping, (See how cute this kitten is?!)

you have to admit, they're never boring.

So there you have it, friends. You know my secret.

I'm a crazy cat lady.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Naps for ALL!

I woke up this morning thinking I was going to write a really great post about cats, but then I took a nap. But not after watching two episodes of Dr. Who on Netflix. (I just started watching it this week, and I'm already hooked.) I'll admit, it was almost difficult to shut off my computer and shut my eyes, but guys, it was worth it.

And it dawned on me:

Why don't we get naps as an adult?

See? This kitten likes naps. Naps are great!--Source

Sure, as children we get naps up through about Kindergarten. But you hit 1st grade and then they cut you off, leaving you to spend your afternoons grouchy all the way through adulthood. It's not until you retire that you get the luxury of regular afternoon naps.


But think about it.

How productive would we be if we all took naps?

Many Latin American countries have regular siesta, where everything shuts down for a few hours at midday. Sure, people work later, but I'm convinced the extra rest during the typical midday slump most people suffer gives them an extra boost of energy.

I don't know about you, but most of the time I feel great after a nap. I can be stressed, grouchy, and unsociable, but after a nap, it's like I'm having the best day ever.

Grown ups are still like small children in many ways. We still want to throw tantrums when we're hungry or tired. If only that were an appropriate response for adults. But give us a proper meal and a nap and everything is rainbows and butterflies and cute puppies and kittens. 

We would all be well-rested, friendly, and far more productive.

It's too bad we're all rushing around, work-obsessed, money-obsessed. We don't take the proper time to relax. If we did, in the long run, everyone would benefit.

It's a win-win situation, really.

Moral of the story: Naps for all!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

How to Fail at Blogging

I've had this blog for a couple of years now, but I quite obviously still have a lot to learn about blogging.

I have the schedule thing down now, albeit recently- Sundays and Thursdays.

But GUYS. A couple days ago at work I had a really great idea for a post, and I was going to write it and post it that day. But I wanted to save it for today.

I didn't write it down, guys. I didn't write it down.

If you know me, or if you're a blogger or a writer, you're shaking your head. Because isn't that one of the rules for writers? Carry a notebook to write down your ideas in, so you don't forget them. 

So you don't forget them.

I've even said before, "If I don't write it down, it falls out of my head."

I should have known better.

But I didn't. And I didn't write it down.

So now all I have to show for it is this lame excuse for a post. To make it up to you, here's the video for a song I'm pretty much obsessed with right now.

Happy Thursday, friends!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

This is worth reading, I promise

Yep. It's Sunday. And I know I'm cutting it a little close with the whole "posting on Sundays" thing.

But I was kind of busy today. I worked early today (after not sleeping last night), and then I had to nap because I didn't sleep.

But then I went out to dinner with Roommate AND GUYS, we went and saw Titanic in 3D.

So that's why this post is so late.

6 Reasons Why I Love Titanic
1. Leonardo DiCaprio. Fine, go ahead and laugh, but my reason is legit. My friends know that I admire him as an actor, not just because he's all cute and dreamy in Titanic. The reason why I like him so much is that he's such a dedicated actor. He completely commits himself to whatever character he is playing.

2. The Soundtrack. I mean besides Celine Dion's overemotional, overplayed rendition of "My Heart Will Go On." James Horner kills it with this soundtrack. 

3. Speaking of the Music. The scene where the ship is sinking and the string quartet stays to play one last song, the one that breaks your heart? Yeah. I cry like a baby every time.

4. That Scene with the Dancing. Where Jack takes Rose to the party in steerage, with the drinking and the Irish music and dancing and she stands on her tiptoes like a badass? Yep. That's my favorite scene.

5. James Cameron Writes a Good Line. 
-A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. 
-With all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship, here. 
-They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out...
-Ah, forget it, boyo. You're as like to have angels fly out your arse as get next to the likes of her. 

I could list some more, but I won't. I'm sure you get the idea.

6. Attention to Detail. In Titanic, the attention to detail is overwhelming (despite the overwhelming list of bloopers provided by IMDB). Costumes. Props. Sets. The effects. Every single extra. Especially the extras. The attention to every single minute detail is mind-blowing, and one of the things that makes this movie such a success.

Yep. I cried, guys. Like a baby. But do you know why?

I cried because it was real. I cried because even though it was a fictional representation, 1500 people really died 100 years ago. People make movies mostly to make money and entertain people. Sometimes when we watch disaster movies that are based on actual events, we forget it was real. We forget that it involved real people, that living breathing beings died.

So please. The next time you watch a movie based on actual events, a movie which depicts death, please don't be too entertained.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Decisions, and I Talk Too Fast

I've decided.

On days on which to blog, that is.

In order to become a more disciplined blogger, I've decided to post twice a week, on Sundays and Thursdays. So expect posts on those days, and if I don't deliver, feel free berate me for it.

In other news, I'm starting to wonder if I talk too fast, or something.

The problem is that I'll say something to someone, particularly my coworkers, and they'll either say "What?" or they'll think I said something completely different from what I actually said, something which sounded really inappropriate, in which case their response is "WHAT?!?!?!"

So I'll repeat myself. Twice. And they still won't hear/understand me.

From here, I have a couple of options. I can:

A) Repeat myself. Again, this time speaking loudly and slowly, like I'm talking to my 90-year-old almost deaf grandmother on the phone.
Dos) Repeat myself. Again, and without altering my speed or (near perfect) enunciation, but this time adding an obviously severely irritated tone to my voice.
3) Get fed up and annoyed at having to repeat myself so many times that I give up and say "Nevermind!"

Most of the time it's a combination of the first two, although I'm almost always tempted to act like a five-year-old and chose the third option.

Maybe I'll just stop speaking altogether, that way I can avoid this annoying situation as well as people telling me to stop yelling. (I'm not yelling okay, this is just my voice! I'm not mad, okay, this is just my face!)

Wait, that's not going to work, is it? Damn.

I guess this is when I act like a grown up and give in and decide to make an effort to speak slower.

Fine. But don't expect me to like it.