Here's how I feel about this...

I tend to avoid politics like the black plague. But this goes way beyond anything political. I don't know very much behind the mechanics of the new security scanners the TSA is using, but here's my opinion based on what I do know.

This is SO unconstitutional. It goes against our God-given right to be happy and healthy for the government to force us to go through machines that give us levels of radiation that could be unsafe, and ALSO take naked pictures of us. No one...I'll say it again...

NO ONE

gets to see my naked body unless
I
give them permission.

My body DOES NOT belong to the government.

The alternative isn't very constitutional, either. It isn't right for people to be publicly fondled. I've been given the old, less invasive pat-down in a terminal full of people, and that was embarrassing enough.

This is NOT okay. I've been a little bit ignorant of this whole thing for one reason or another, but now I'm starting to get angry.

Since moving to Branson, I have joined the church choir my sister, Rachel sings in. It's an episcopal church, so they have a tendency to do really good stuff. And, to be honest, ever since joining, I've been chasing the feeling I got when I sang with Kapelle.

This feeling is hard to describe...almost like your heart is too big for your chest, like you couldn't possibly feel any more emotion.

Well, at choir practice on Wednesday, I got a glimpse of that feeling I miss so much. We're doing Mendelssohn's Verleih uns Frieden. (I think that's the right one.) Anyway, it really has that German chorale feeling, and it made me think of Concordia, and by consequence, Kapelle. And it wasn't sadness that I felt. It was more...thankfulness that I got to have that experience, and was so blessed to know such amazing people.

So, if any of you Kapellicans are reading this, I miss you. Every day. :)

The Wicked Witch of the West

Today at work, I got to help the Wicked Witch of the West. She looked like this:



Not really. She just looked like an old lady. My co-worker called her that because she was mean, and from California.

But the point is, I've never encountered a stranger so disrespectful.

She came in wanting to purchase tickets. She said she had two retired military personnel, and I informed her of the discount.

"I read somewhere that veterans are free."

They're not. And I told her so, but nicely.

"Well, if I find somewhere that says they are, I can bring it in and you can refund me, right?"

"If you can find something that says that, you can bring it in and take it up with my manager."

I applied her retired military discount, and told her I placed her in the 6th row in the center. She wanted to be up front, but it's more expensive, and we can't apply a discount to it. She said it was fine, but her expression read, "Well, if I NO other choice."

I sold her the tickets and when I handed them to her, I told her was in the 6th row. This is when she turned into the Wicked Witch.

"You told me the fifth row."

"I'm sorry, I thought I said the sixth."

"No, you said the fifth."

"Well, I have the fifth, but they're not as close to the center."

"Let me see your computer screen, because I don't think you're being truthful with me."

That is FALSE. I gave her the best seats I had. And for reference, there are 24 rows in our theatre. Row 6 out of 24 is great, right? I think so, too.

"I can't do that, ma'am. I have confidential information on here I can't allow you to see."

This was true. We can't let customers see our screens.

"You're lying."

Um, WHAT? I was okay until she flat-out called me a liar. I DON'T lie, and I hate people who lie to me.

So at this point, a plethora of thoughts are going through my head, including:

"BITCH!"

"I need to get this lady out of here so that I can be angry."

"I need to make this customer happy so that I can keep this sale."

So I ultimately ended up giving her what she really wanted all along: seats in the first row, center. And then she said thank you like nothing was wrong.

Once her back was turned to me, I crouched on the floor behind the counter, shaking and so angry I couldn't speak. It scared me how angry I was, and how much I was able to keep my cool while she was being absolutely awful to me. Anyone who knows me well knows my temper. You guys would be so proud of me. I'm proud of me.

This woman is just beyond my comprehension. I don't understand how she thinks she's entitled to demand whatever she wants and treat me like crap.

I suppose that's a good thing. The end of this blog is found in a blog my dad wrote. He said it better than I probably could.

Go ahead and hate me.

Last Tuesday, I didn't vote. I know, civic duty, blah blah. Whatever.

The truth is, I hate politicians. Okay, I take it back. I don't hate them. We're not supposed to hate anyone. I have a severe distrust of politicians.

They spend BILLIONS of dollars on campaign ads that are nothing more than trash talk.

They don't have as simple a thing as respect for each other, so how am I to believe they have respect for us, the people they're supposed to represent?

People keep saying it's my right to vote, it's my DUTY to vote, to voice my opinion. I get that. But if I have the right TO vote, don't I also have the right NOT to vote?

Whenever I think about voting, I get this overwhelming sense of dread and anxiety, and I can hear my conscience telling me not to do it, not to vote for these people who don't really care about me, who only care about selling themselves to the highest bidder.

And besides, there are more important things. Like the fact that God loves us unconditionally, and take care of us, no matter what sort of asshole politician CLAIMS he's taking care of us. God's the one who's really in control.

So fine. Hate me for not voting. The truth is, I couldn't care less.

Just another Sunday...

I did not celebrate Halloween: I did not dress up or hand out candy. I worked from 5-8:30pm. The closest I got was carving pumpkins and making Halloween funfetti cupcakes with my roommate.

I did not celebrate Reformation Day: I went to the Episcopal Church I normally do, where I sing in the choir with my sister. The closest they got to even vaguely acknowledging Reformation Day was "A Mighty Fortress" for the postlude. Go ahead, call me a heathen and damn me to hell. I always liked warm weather.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

After having grown up in the Lutheran school system, and gone to Concordia Chicago, where it's the norm to know exactly what you're going to do with the rest of your life, it's left me with... a kind of complex, I guess. Most of time, this life plan is some variation on teacher, DCE, or going to Seminary. And lots of times one of these includes marriage. Now, it's great that my classmates know what they want to do with their lives. But as someone who likes to have a plan, who likes to know the next step, who's a bit of a control freak, this in combination with my complex from going to Concordia, it kills me that I'm not quite sure about a career to pursue.

Earlier this week, I went back to Concordia for a visit. I can't even count how many people said, "So what are you doing now? Are you teaching?" NO. I'M NOT TEACHING. In the Lutheran world, teaching or some sort of "church work" profession (I hate that term to begin with, but that's another story) is kind of pressed on you. It's the norm. It's actually kind of expected of you, and you're just a little bit...off, a little different if DON'T choose it.

I feel like so many career options, options that would appease so many people, have to be thrown out simply because of my personality. I would be a horrible church worker for several reasons. While I do respect authority, I don't if I don't agree with the authority. And I have several issues with the Lutheran church (also another story). I hate having to jump through hoops, and I don't like playing by other people's rules. I get annoyed really easily. Stupid people annoy me. Mean people annoy me. Now, these reasons overlap with reasons I shouldn't be a teacher. I'm impatient. I hate large groups. I'm NOT a people person. Empathy is a trait that doesn't come naturally to me. Like logic, I'm able to employ it (I mean, I'm not a sociopath), but it's not a part of my natural thought process.

I guess right now I'm at the stage of figuring out all the things I WOULDN'T be right for. I'm not quite sure how to progress to the stage of figuring out all of the things I WOULD be right for.

It's just a little ironic that I have a job that involves most of the characteristics I DON'T possess. The REALLY ironic part? I do well there.