Itchy Skin and Black Holes and the Moral of the Story

Needless to say, it's been a mild winter pretty much everywhere. It was like, 65 degrees here today. In January. That's just unnatural.

Nevertheless, my skin is rebelling, making it very clear that the current temperatures are still unacceptable, causing a torturous discomfort as yet unrivaled in my short 25 years on this earth. (I'm pretty sure that time I had chicken pox in 3rd grade wasn't as bad as this.) My skin is so dry and itchy all the time, that I want to rip it all off and grow new skin. At this point I'm thinking that might be less uncomfortable than my current situation.

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little. Or maybe not. You'll never know.

If you're asking yourself right about now, "Is this one of those posts where she can't think of anything to write about so she's writing about how her skin is dry?" you'd be right. Oh wait, is it bad blogging etiquette to admit that? Whoops.

My point is, I have no point. That's not true. My point is, I want it to be spring again. I want work to not be boring anymore. I want the trees to be green. I want my skin to stop hating me. I want my emotions to stop being this spiraling black hole of unpredictable doom inside my chest.

But that seems to be prevailing struggle. I want to do away with something which is hard-wired into me.

What this has to do with my dry skin, I don't know.

The moral of the story is, 

I'm uncomfortable.

Rest

Hello, internet. I'm back from vacation, poised to give you a veritable cornucopia of posting topics.

Okay, so maybe just two. Or three at most.

The real reason for the trip was my grandfather. If you've been following along at home, you'll remember he passed away last May from cancer.

For 30 years, my grandparents vacationed in a town in Mexico called Zihuatanejo. Over the course of the many vacations spent down there, that place became a second home for them, and during the week I spent there I met many of their friends who regard them as family, not tourists.

So this week, I went there with several of my family members to lay his ashes to rest in the ocean.

Two fishermen friends of his took us out to this place, as well of many of their own family members. I was glad to see that he was so well-loved. In this place, my great-uncle, as well of several more of my grandparents' friends have been laid to rest. It is a beautiful spot, just outside the bay, right on the open ocean, and many fishermen pass by this spot on their way in and out.

It was emotional, for certain, but I was glad to be there with my family, and there couldn't have been a better place to lay him to rest, here in the place he loved so much.

Screw This, I'm Going On Vacation!

Okay, so I'm not really saying "screw this" to life and running away to join the circus, or finding my very own deserted island to live on forever and ever.

But I am going on vacation.

For a week.

Do you want to know where I'm going?

Well, if we're Facebook friends, or you follow me on Twitter, then you've probably already read it.

I'm going to MEXICO.

Mexico: Land of 90-degree weather in January, margaritas, beautiful beaches on the Pacific Ocean, and best of all NO WORK FOR ONE WEEK.

For one whole week, I get to run away from life, from my job, from Branson, to a place that's as close to paradise as I'm bound to get anytime soon. No cell phone, no computer. Just some quality time with my family.

So, internet friends, if you want to get in touch with me this next week...

TOO BAD.

I'm Judging You

This image came across my Tumblr dashboard several weeks ago.

Funny, right?

In this day and age, where my Facebook and Twitter are overtaken by grammar and spelling mistakes too numerous to mention, where (or so I am told) people use internet abbreviations such as "LOL" or "BTW" in high school and even college papers, most of my day is spent cringing. I was lucky enough to have a mom who ALWAYS corrected my grammar, (Thanks Mom!) and to go to schools where correct grammar and spelling were a priority for students.

At this point, I'm of the opinion that if I'm lucky enough to date a man who communicates well both verbally and in writing, using correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation, I'd be crazy not to up and marry him. A bit extreme, I know.

But I can't help being judgmental about this. I can't help judging the misspellings of basic words, the blatant run-on sentences, the lack of punctuation or capitalization.

I'm left wondering, when did correct grammar and spelling become an attractive trait, instead of the norm? Or maybe it's always been like this, and I just wasn't paying attention. Maybe we just notice it more often in this age of social media.

The thing is, I can't even be funny about this. It just makes me sad. It makes me sad that more people don't know how to communicate better, and it makes me even sadder that I judge people for it.


(No joke guys, I just sat for 5 minutes debating whether "sadder" or "more sad" was correct. And even now, I'm still not sure I got it right. Talk about irony.)

And now I'm failing as a writer. Because I have no conclusion to this blog. No lesson to learn, no moral of the story to take away.

I guess the conclusion is that I'm judging you for your poor grammar and spelling. And I'm sorry.

Resolutions

Now that it's officially 2012 (at least where I live) I figured now would be a good time to share some New Year's Resolutions. Now, I'm not normally one to make New Year's Resolutions, mostly because I never care enough to try to keep them. But this year I decided to make only resolutions I would actually want to keep. So here we go. 

Be a better blogger. Seriously, internet friends. I'm sorry. I was doing great there for a while, I had weekly posts. And then I just lost interest. I left you, blogfriends. I've got plans to begin a photo challenge, and I'm looking for other blogging prompts. (If you've got ideas, that would be awesome!) I really do like writing, and I want to be a better blogger.

Go hiking more. I found a set of trails here that I really love. It's just a matter of dragging my lazy ass out of bed to get there early enough before I have to get ready for work.

Read the Bible more. At least 10 minutes every day.

Listen to awesome music. This sounds like a weird one, I know. But I really want to try and listen to music I haven't heard before. Again, if you have suggestions, that would be awesome! (I'm using "awesome" too much. I'll stop.)

Read really great books. Similar to above, I love reading already, but I want to read more good books. And I'm taking suggestions for this one too!

No promises, internet friends. Only that I'll try and do these things. If I fail, I probably won't lose sleep over it.

Happy New Year!

Good Riddance. (I didn't have the time of my life.)

So this is the week when bloggers post their end of year recap posts. What they loved and hated about the year, what they're looking forward to in the coming year.

I don't even know where to start.

2011 was...interesting.

Let's examine the pros and cons, shall we? Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

You want the good news first, don't you? Yep.

Pros of 2011

• I discovered Spotify. Seriously, if you aren't using Spotify yet, I feel sad for you.
• We all discovered that I can be really judgmental, via my short-lived blog series "Why Wednesday." It has it's own tab up top. Wait...maybe this should be on the "cons" list...
• We also discovered that occasionally I can write good fiction. I posted some here, which you can find on the tab up there labeled "Stuff I Made Up."
• I learned that I will never be able to understand just how deep and endless God's love for me is. 
• Sometimes God leads us into the desert, to teach us things, to get us to rely on him. (This feels like a bad thing to me, but I know that it really is good, in the end.)
• I attempted NaNoWriMo. I failed, but I still tried!
• I got hired at Starbucks! That green apron is an instant "cool" stamp. 
• I became an aunt again, and a great-aunt for the first time! That makes a grand total of 7 nieces, 1 nephew and 1 great-nephew!

Cons of 2011

• I decided I don't want to be living in Branson anymore.
• Next month means I've been living here for two years.
• My grandfather died last May, of cancer. I still miss him so much.
•  I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do next. I feel pretty lost right now.
• This cons list is short. 

It doesn't feel like 2011 had more pros than cons. I'm just done with it. I'm nervous about what the future will hold, but I want it to get here. Pronto. 

This is my token Christmas post.

If you know me, you know that when it comes to Christmas, I'm somewhat of a. . . Grinch, a humbug, an Ebenezer Scrooge. I'm one of those people that hates how commercialized Christmas has become, that could probably do without a Christmas tree, that really  only likes traditional Christian Christmas carols, that cringes when too many Christmas songs in a row play at work.

The truth is, I like to hold Christmas inside me. I like to ponder it silently, sitting in my comfy chair at home, with a cup of hot cocoa and my bible, marveling over the fact that God came to us in the form of a tiny, helpless baby.

 But there is one traditional secular Christmas song that gets me every time. It tugs on my heart, and most of the time I have to fight back tears. (It's not "Let it Snow." Just listen to it.)

If you skipped the song, go back and listen. I'll wait.

Now, everyone on the same page? Great.

Yep. "I'll Be Home for Christmas." Not necessarily by Michael Bublé, but by pretty much anyone.

I get a pain in my chest, like something's grabbed hold of my heart and won't let go. My eyes begin to tear up, and feel this insatiable longing in me. 

I want to be home. 

Logically it doesn't make sense, I know. My parents no longer live in the house I grew up in. I've been living in Branson for almost two years. It should be home. But it isn't. It's merely the place I live, the place I work during the day, and sleep at night. 

It's kind of like the concept of missing someone you haven't met yet. It might seem silly, but there are those of us who have this longing inside of us. We long to meet those we haven't encountered yet. We long for a home we haven't found yet. 

We long to experience the great things that God has in store for us. 

I listen to this song, and I long for all those things. I long for that feeling of home, I long for God's plan for me. 

But then I get afraid.

I begin to fear that those things will never come. That my entire life will be stuck in this in-between time I'm in. 

But I just have to trust in God. Trust that He'll lead me.  

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

-Jeremiah 29:11-13

Someday, I'll be home. Someday I'll do all those great things that God has planned for me. Someday.

But until then, 

I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.