Please Pray

Let me preface this entry by saying that
I believe in prayer.

I believe that God responds to our prayers,
even if it's in ways we don't expect.
I believe that praying for healing for someone
matters,
that God heals afflictions,
even now.

God's power is real.

Now,
a couple weeks ago I blogged about my grandfather,
my "papa" here.

For the past two years, he's been pretty okay.
I mean,
as "okay" as you can be with a cancer diagnosis.
But it's been pretty non-aggressive, hasn't been spreading.

Until now.

My dad just told me this morning
that Papa's CAT scans revealed that
it HAS been spreading.

And he starts chemotherapy next week.

I've been
praying
and praying
and praying
and praying

that God heals him,
because I know he can.

I want my Papa back.
I hated seeing him so tired and frail and fragile.

To clarify,
I'm not angry with God.

I know that sometimes these things just happen.
Bad stuff happens to good people,
and there's nothing we can do about it.

Maybe I was praying for the wrong thing.
But I can't figure out what else I
should
have been praying for.

But now my heart is breaking
all over again,
the way it did when I got back from Texas.

Now I'm just praying he makes it through chemo.