War

"When you are arguing against Him 

you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all:

it is like cutting off the branch you are sitting on."

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I am sitting on that tree branch, not even knowing that I'm sawing right through it, about to fall. I don't realize it until I start to fall, until He catches me with another branch. I thank Him and desperately cling to the branch in gratitude. That is, until I begin to saw through it again.

My redeemed and ransomed soul wants nothing more than to follow Him, to live a life of obedience to my Maker and His will for me. 

But my sinful flesh desires a life apart, a life of independence. My sinful flesh is a three year old child screaming "I want to do it myself!" But like the three year old child, I can't do it myself.

My soul and my flesh are at war within me, constantly arguing with each other and at the God who always catches me when I cut off the branch I am sitting on.

But praise be to God, who removes our sins from us as far as east is from west, who will not give us up, who loves relentlessly, unconditionally, no matter how much we argue.