Today was a good day, partly because I woke up this morning and told myself it would be a good day.

I talked to him today. And it was good. I think that's part of why it was a good day. I think one of the reasons why I was so miserable the last couple of days was because it felt like someone died. I hated not being able to talk to him. It felt taboo, but then today I just bit the bullet and did it. And it was pretty normal. We didn't fight or anything. I'm not really sure how he feels about this, if he thinks it's more torture to talk to me and us not be together than for us to just sever all contact. I don't know. . . I just want us both to be happy.