You all know that I'm an emotional slob. (Thanks for that, Dad.)
I may or may not have cried while watching Tangled for the first time recently. (Ask Emily for verification.)
I can go from zero to Hulk in 2.5 seconds.
And I'm not sorry. This is the way I was wired. I always have, and most likely always will feel emotions more intensely than the average bear. (Not real bears, guys. It was a random Yogi Bear reference for no reason.)
This week, my brain's emotion of choice is crippling anxiety and insecurity.
A little backstory: When I was a child, I was diagnosed with general social anxiety along with ADHD. I took medication for both until I was about 14, and they helped. A lot. I've been able to cope very well, and neither of these things have been much of a major issue.
But this anxiety and insecurity blindsided me.
We all have insecurities that lie under the surface, that we're pretty well able to ignore. This week, these insecurities are multiplied by about a thousand. And it's making me feel like a crazy person, you guys.
I know that all of the things I'm thinking and feeling are irrational and not logical. I KNOW that. But that doesn't change the fact that I still feel this way, that I still feel completely nuts.
So why am I telling all of this to the internets? I have no clue. I'm not looking for pity, don't worry. Maybe I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not crazy, that other people sometimes feel this way, too.
So, friends, if I'm a little absent for a while, it's just because I need to be a hermit for a bit. Just be patient with me.
Ugh, I totally get it. Knowing that you're having an irrational response doesn't make you respond any differently. If anything it just makes it worse, because then you feel ridiculous and ashamed and embarrassed on top of whatever other irrational feelings you're having. Or at least I do.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon.
You're totally right. It's too many emotions for one person!
DeleteYup. She totally cried. Although... that movie makes me want to cry too. Which, if people know me they know that I don't usually ACTUALLY cry during movies. But it makes me want to! Does that count?
ReplyDeleteUm, sure. Except for the part where you avoid the humiliation of crying in public.
DeleteAll the feels. ALL OF THEM.
ReplyDeleteI can't handle it anymore, Bri. MAKE IT STOP.
DeleteDon't even apologize! You get your hermit on if you need to and get it all back together. You cry over Tangled if you have to and I say that as a person that cries at ALL THE TV AND MOVIES. I cried watching "The Voice" a couple weeks back. True Story.
ReplyDeleteCrying during The Voice is totally legit. Also, ALL THE BOOKS. Crying during all the books is a thing for me.
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