Thursday, January 17, 2013

Don't you judge me.

As much as I wear judgy pants on this blog, I probably deserve some judging myself. But try not to judge me to harshly for the story I'm about to tell.

Last Saturday, I got off work from my awesome, part time job at Rung Boutique, aching for a beer. It had been the shittiest week I'd had in a long time. So I called my friend, we'll call her "A," and we made plans to get dinner and beer, as she'd had a long day as well.

A came over to my house, and we talked a few minutes about where we should go. After hearing her suggestions, we decided to go to a pub/bar/restaurant (Which shall remain nameless to protect the not-so-innocent!) that she had heard good things about, but which neither of us had been to before.

We ordered our beers, and perused the menu for far too long. Our poor, adorable waiter was so patient with us. A ordered a salad and I followed suit. While we waited, we chatted about work, and people who are pains in our backsides.

Finally our salads arrived, and we unwrapped our silverware. Giants must frequent said restaurant, because our forks were, indeed, giant-sized. As in, the size of my face. Literally, the size of my face.

See? I told you.The size of my face. Also, I took this photo.
It was all I could think about during our fantastic (despite pricey than expected) salads, as well as a to-die-for certain chocolate something with raspberry stuff on it.

It was halfway through dessert that I decided. I began to think of a certain former roommate of mine (You know who you are!) who obtained, through slightly shady methods a certain beer glass from the local pub. Just because she wanted it.

And there it was. I wanted the giant fork. Not to use it. Just to have it.

I may or may not still have the fork in my possession. Okay, I'll just be honest. This is just between us friends, right? It's not like this is on the internet for everyone to read.

I do still have the fork, having slipped it ever so coolly into my purse before paying the check. To be fair, A and I were nice, and left good tips. Partly because of the fork. But also because TIP YOUR SERVER YOU GUYS. AND YOUR BARISTA. But seriously, tip your barista.

I do sort of feel bad. Because, you know. God says don't steal.



  1. That really is a massive fork. Maybe whoever wrapped the cutlery couldn't tell the difference between a salad server and a fork????

  2. Nope. We made some comment to the server about it, and he was like, "Yeah, they're pretty big." He sounded like he heard about the forks every damn day of his life. So...pretty sure the giant forks were NOT accidental.

  3. I'm pretty sure even God is like, "yeah, well that IS a giant fork." I think you're okay on this one.

    1. I sure hope so. I'd hate to get to heaven and God be all like, "You can't come in. Because of the fork."