Sunday, April 10, 2011

Identity Crisis

I would consider myself pretty self-aware.
I'm almost always able to analyze my emotions
my actions
and the reasons behind them.
Anyone who knew me as a kid
(or even three or so years ago)
would be proud of me for such an accomplishment.
I'm proud of me.

But I think I've lost myself.
I feel like I've been in a chronic state of confusion
when it comes to myself.

I haven't felt like myself since before I started working at Starbucks.

Don't get me wrong,
I love working there.
It's a ton of fun
and my coworkers are awesome.

But I've been trying so hard to be nice,
to curb my attitude,
that I feel like I'm stifling myself.

I feel like I'm trying to put on a jacket that's too tight,
that doesn't quite fit.

But today has been good.
I straightened my hair.
I put on a pretty shirt.
I'm at Starbucks
(On my day off. Ha.)
listening to my favorite music.
And I feel like me again.

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