"What?" you say, "Leah can't find something to complain about? The world must be ending!"
Don't get me wrong. I can always find something to complain about. But I thought it had to be something I could easily tear to shreds with words, something about which I could write an absolutely scathing review. But something which, at the same time just leaves you searching for an explanation.
So I called my best friend and go-to blogger, Emily, who suggested things like rising gas prices or Justin Bieber. But then she suggested the thing everyone is ripping into lately. The thing that's just so bad, you can't help but tear it apart:
That's right. The god-awful "Friday" by Rebecca Black.
The first time I watched it, I didn't even make it all the way through. If I'd had a thought process upon first watching, (Which I didn't, by the way.) it would have been something like, "What in the hell is this that I'm watching?"
But instead, I was just speechless.
I'm tempted to list all the ways this song is the worst song in the history of recorded music, (You think I'm exaggerating.) so that's exactly what I'm going to do. (Since it is, after all, what I do best.)
The basis for this song's epic failure is the songwriting itself, not merely Rebecca's annoying nasally little voice. (But that's beside the point.) Examples:
- The fact that the song writer makes every day things sound like crucial life choices. Like how she has to have her cereal. (Do we really care? No.) Like how the choice of where to sit in a car is akin to a major life choice like where to go to college.
- Poor grammar! "We so excited." Um. What? Who talks like that? Or even sings like that? I can't think of anyone, except for the piss-poor excuse for a songwriter who came up with these stupid lyrics. Go back to 4th grade, when you were supposed to learn how to speak and write correctly.
- "Yesterday was Thursday. Today it is Friday." Um. DUH. Logically, if yesterday was Thursday, then today will be Friday. You don't need to tell me that, since I'm pretty sure that's something we learn in preschool.
- The rapper. Ha.
But then there's my favorite part. The video itself.
The fact that there's a bunch of 13-year-olds driving a convertible, without an adult in the car.
And how they're sitting on the back of the convertible driving down the highway.
(A: unsafe. B: you would be pulled over BECAUSE IT'S UNSAFE.)
And how little 13-year-olds don't party. They have slumber parties with their friends, and braid each others hair, and gossip about what cute boys they like.
So all of this begs the question, "Why?"
I DON'T KNOW.
So in conclusion, I leave you with THIS version of "Friday," a version vastly more entertaining one. Enjoy:
(I pulled both of these videos from YouTube. In case you're wondering.)