I hit the roommate jackpot, you guys.

On Tuesday last week, my roommate Renee left me. And it broke my heart.

Okay, so I'm being dramatic. She went to New York with her mom and dad for Thanksgiving.

But that's not the point. The point is, I MISSED HER SO MUCH AND SHE JUST GOT BACK YESTERDAY AND I'M SO EXCITED.

I literally tackled her as soon as she walked in the door. Literally. No word abuse involved here. I heard her key turn in the lock, sprinted down the stairs, and gave her a huge, football tackle hug.

9 Reasons Why Renee is the Best Roommate of Ever:

1. She makes jokes about creating a game called The Oregon Trail: Donner Party Edition. And I'm the only who laughs.

2. We stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking and laughing and drinking tea and swooning over Mumford and Sons and being boy crazy.

3. She likes to have conversations with strangers. It's super cute.

4. We do things like make a playlist of all the music we're ashamed to like, full of things like Fun., Hanson, Backstreet Boys, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers.

5. She doesn't judge me for my inability to stop watching The Vampire Diaries.

6. She has a strange and endearing affinity for Korean pop music. But not Gangnam Style, so don't even mention it.

7. SHE LOVES TO BAKE. This one is super important.

8. If you look up the word "empathy" in the dictionary, there should be a photo of Renee in there. She seriously loves and empathizes with nearly everyone she meets.

9. In all seriousness, she has an innate joy in her heart, which she can't help but let out. It's like she just radiates it, and I instantly feel better when I'm around her.

It's okay, you guys. You can be jealous of me.

Thanksgiving and stuff. Blah blah.

Ah, the obligatory Thanksgiving post. Like the obligatory Christmas post, New Years' post, and Fourth of July post, I dread this one.

I could post about the irony of people celebrating being thankful for things by gorging themselves on food, followed by a day which is the definition of greed.

But I won't. I'm sure you all already know how I feel about this.

So here we go. A real, live, "here's what I'm thankful for list." Because it's good to keep count sometimes.

I'm thankful for things like beer, chocolate, coffee, cranberry bliss bars from Starbucks, and computers. Seriously.

I'm thankful for a job. Two, in fact, including a new part time job with some women who are shaping up to be really awesome already.

Speaking of work, I'm thankful for some pretty stellar coworkers at Starbucks. I know I'm high-strung, and not always the easiest to work with. Thanks for being patient with me.

I'm thankful for some pretty awesome roommates, who deal really well with my crazy antics. I'm also thankful they like to cook. Yep.

While we're on the topic of roommates, I'm particularly thankful for my roommate Renee, who also happens to be one of my oldest, closest friends. She has this innate joy in her heart that is contagious, and it is such a privilege to be able to live with her.

I'm thankful to have parents who love and support me always.

 I could go on, but needless to say, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I went away for the weekend!

I was going to post on Thursday while I was traveling, but I was caught up in writing for NaNoWriMo, and also reading some really great books. And also, I was busy going on a brief weekend vacation to Sedona, Arizona, courtesy of my aunt and my grandmother. (Free vacation, HAI.)

ANYWHO. I've decided to share some of my best pictures from the trip. BECAUSE YOU GUYS. I just... I can't even. Pictures don't even do it justice. Everywhere you look, there's something that takes you're breath away. I still can't even believe that stuff that beautiful is real.

UGH. FEELS.

You all know that I'm an emotional slob. (Thanks for that, Dad.)

I may or may not have cried while watching Tangled for the first time recently. (Ask Emily for verification.)

I can go from zero to Hulk in 2.5 seconds.

And I'm not sorry. This is the way I was wired. I always have, and most likely always will feel emotions more intensely than the average bear. (Not real bears, guys. It was a random Yogi Bear reference for no reason.)

This week, my brain's emotion of choice is crippling anxiety and insecurity.

A little backstory: When I was a child, I was diagnosed with general social anxiety along with ADHD. I took medication for both until I was about 14, and they helped. A lot. I've been able to cope very well, and neither of these things have been much of a major issue.

But this anxiety and insecurity blindsided me.

We all have insecurities that lie under the surface, that we're pretty well able to ignore. This week, these insecurities are multiplied by about a thousand. And it's making me feel like a crazy person, you guys.

I know that all of the things I'm thinking and feeling are irrational and not logical. I KNOW that. But that doesn't change the fact that I still feel this way, that I still feel completely nuts.

So why am I telling all of this to the internets? I have no clue. I'm not looking for pity, don't worry. Maybe I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not crazy, that other people sometimes feel this way, too.

So, friends, if I'm a little absent for a while, it's just because I need to be a hermit for a bit. Just be patient with me.

This is supposed to be fun.

 I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist. I want to do something right. And if it isn't exactly right, I kind of stress out about it.

But I've decided. I'm not going to stress out about NaNoWriMo anymore.

No more getting worried about being a few thousand words behind the daily goal.

No more getting worried I won't finish.

No more beating myself up if things aren't going the way I expected.

I'm going to write what I write, and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not even going to think about the 50,000 words.

Because isn't the whole point of NaNoWriMo to just write and have fun?

Hey, writers. Give me advice.

I'll be perfectly honest. I'm procrastinating right now.

I've been trying to be good this weekend. I've been trying write and write like a good little NaNoWriMo-er. I even drove down to visit Emily, so we could write together.

But friends, I am a couple thousand words short of where I should be. I'm so far from being on track.

I am so discouraged right now.

I want to win so badly this year, mostly because I lost last year.

Here are some of my problems:

• I am so incredibly unfocused. I have complete ADD. 
• I am not emotionally connected to my characters. I haven't discovered why I care about their story. (This is a big one.)
• I don't really like my main character. I think she's kind of a brat who has no sense of familial duty. (This is another big one.)
• I can't decide on a narration technique.

So, friends, this is where I ask for advice. Any tricks I should try to get back on track? Any tips on focusing?

This is what you get.

NaNoWriMo starts today. National Novel Writing Month. Crazies like me and Emily attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.

I'm trying to get a jump start on my novel today. So instead of a post, you get some David Tennant. Happy Thursday, and Happy NaNoWriMo!