I read this post in a blog I follow. (http://french-graffiti.blogspot.com/2009/06/shes-just-not-that-into-you.html) If you're wondering why Mr. Right hasn't shown up yet, read this.
"I ran into a guy I knew from somewhere (vagueness is key on the internet). I was in a jovial mood so I invited the guy for a drink. I wasn't looking for anything serious with this guy but I thought some drunken flirting, kissing, etc might be fun.
Two martinis later (vodka, dirty, always, please, thank you) I decided that it had been way too long since I last had sex. So against the Audrey Hepburn part of my brain, I decided, "Fuck it, I'm allowed to have fun and get laid." I followed this gentleman back to his house.
Sexing ensued. And at some point during it, I realized, to quote the Bluth family, "I've made a terrible mistake." This gentleman really actually *liked* me. Like liked, liked. "Do-you-like-me-Check-yes-or-no" like.
I've been this guy before, the "I like you guy", the one making cute little jokes, cuddling, so happy to be in the bed with a certain person. Thinking that everything was going so well. But, unfortunately for him, he's not what I was looking for. I was looking to get laid, plain and simple. No messiness, no promises of future dates, just a fun romp. But he didn't know this, and how could he? Now here is where I understand where men are coming from.
Because see, there's nothing actually wrong with his guy. He's adorable, kind, etc. It's not like there was something he could have done to change my mind/feelings about him. It's just that he's not what I want right now. It's like if I went into a store and said, "Show me your best china" and you brought me back a Marc Jacobs coat, I would say, "That's a great coat but that's not at all what I'm looking for."
Now I get it. I get why things seem to be going so great with a guy -- we have a great evening, kissing, cuddling, etc -- only to not hear from him the next day. I'm just not "it". Not what he's looking for. "Just not that into me" etc. And it's actually true. Because I'm a Marc Jacobs coat, he knows, I know it. But he's looking for cutlery. And you can't cut a steak with a coat."