Monday, November 9, 2009

I'm not sure I can handle this.

My senior recital is a week from Friday. And I don't feel nearly prepared enough. I practiced tonight, but it only made me more worried and depressed. And I have my stupid senior project (that I am making good progress on, but that's besides the point), and a million and a half stupid papers to do that I haven't even really done very much work on. And I'm trying to keep some semblance of a social life so that I don't go completely insane from doing school work all the time.

And...on top of it my grandmother is in the hospital, so that's got me worrying. (Even though Mom tried to tell me not to. It was a gallant effort, Mom.) She fell early last week. She only had a hairline fracture in her hip, so they sent her home after doing x-rays and all that jazz. But then after she left the hospital, she had a brief spell where she was unresponsive. Conscious, but unresponsive. And so now she's back in the hospital undergoing tests to figure out what's wrong.

That brings me to my next topic. Do you know how when you're a kid, it's like your parents and grandparents are made of steel, like nothing bad can happen to them? And then as you age, you realize that people are mortal and eventually die. But you still don't really think about it, until a certain point in your life, when you realize that your grandparents are getting older, and eventually they won't be around anymore. Well, I've found myself coming to that point. This issue with my grandmother, and also with my grandfather's cancer sort of made this truth that we all know more of a reality for me. And it's kind of scary.

1 comment:

  1. Well, actually, kiddo, I spoke with Eileen a little while ago, and they are releasing your grandmother to the rehab unit next door to her apartment building tomorrow. So that's good news.

    So, try to cross that off of your worry list.

    I know you'll do great next week at your recital.

    try to breathe...