Sunday, April 22, 2012

How To Make Us Angry

I almost wrote about naps again guys, because I got home from work and I took the BEST NAP EVER. I might be up super late tonight, but that's a minor detail because, guys, BEST NAP EVER.

I've posted a few times about my job at Starbucks. I'd post links to them but, let's be honest, I'm far too lazy for that. And most of you wouldn't click the links anyway. But the point is, I've got another Starbucks post for you. Yesterday a customer was rude to me. Kind of an understatement, really. He yelled at me, leaving me only able to stammer out an "I'm sorry" to something that didn't really deserve an "I'm sorry."

But don't feel sorry for me friends, it's the perils of the job. The point of this post is not a pity party. The point of this post is that I'm really looking out for you, friends. So here you go:

4 Ways to Piss Off Your Barista
1. Say "um" or "uh" a lot when ordering. 
For example:
"I'll have a, uh, grande, um, no, venti uh, caramel mocha, um, frappuccino."

It's possible this is merely a pet peeve of my own brought on my the speech class I took freshman year of college. (Thanks, Julie!) However, it would be a little less annoying if you thought of what drink you wanted before you started speaking, instead of thinking after speaking.

2. Get offended when we can't read your mind.
"I wanted that iced!"
"Um, I wanted no whipped cream."
"That was supposed to be hot!"

Did you say any of those things when you ordered? I can tell you the answer is no, because I was there. I remember. We're not mind readers, we're just your baristas. If you want a drink hot or iced, or without whipped cream, or with soy milk, you have to tell us. Don't get an attitude with me just because you forgot to tell us part of your drink order. That's not our fault.

3.  Look at your phone and not at me.

I'm not a robot. I'm a person, and it's nice to be recognized as such. With, you know,  eye contact and stuff. You remember what that is, right? It's that thing people do before there were smart phones when they looked each other in the eye when they spoke to each other? Oh gosh, how do I break this down for you. . . kind of like when people Skype each other? Does that make sense?

4. Make mountains out of molehills.

I'm just going to say it. It's just coffee. It's curing cancer or anything. While I realize that an experience with us can make your day, and I do take my job seriously, it's frustrating when people treat it like it's the end of the world when we forget something. Please understand that we're only human. We forget things just like you do. It's not a big deal to take the whipped cream off of your drink. It's not a big deal to remake it for you, we want to get it right. I don't understand why you think it's the end of the world when I forget you said you didn't need your coffee ground and have you ask you again, so you yell at me and storm out without your coffee.*

So friends, if you want to make life a little bit more difficult for your friendly neighborhood barista, by all means do the things I listed above. But don't say I didn't warn you. Just remember. Baristas are people, too. We work hard. We have feelings. All we really want to do is make you good coffee.

*Not that that really happened to me...or anything.

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