Thursday, January 14, 2010
I spent a couple of days in Chicago this week. I still had a few things at the apartment that I needed to get. It was a good visit, but all of a sudden I was very aware that Concordia isn't my school anymore. I was already feeling the disconnect that accompanies graduating. I knew people were glad to see me, but it's like I was an observer, just on the outside looking in. But that feeling wasn't in the same way I've experienced it for much of my life. Quite frequently I've felt like I was just on the outside, at a place where I shouldn't have been. But Concordia isn't my place anymore. This time, it felt natural for me to be merely an observer. It felt natural because, I suppose that I'm ready to move on with my life, to find a new place to be, new people to meet. But I'm still nervous. I'm nervous about what God has in store for me. I know that it's not for me to know his plans just yet, and that I have to trust in Him. And I do trust Him. But I'm still nervous.