I worked this morning.
I paid the electric bill, went grocery shopping, ate some lunch.
Now I'm back at Starbucks, listening to David Bowie, sitting next to a cluster of rambunctious children who I'm trying to ignore, who are also being ignored by their adult chaperone, presumably their father who has decided what sounds like a work phone call is more important than the offspring currently under his care.
Not that I have an opinion on that sort of thing or anything.
It doesn't feel like Valentine's Day, other than the two cards I got from family members, and one I got from the roommate, even though I didn't reciprocate. (She also got me some candy conversation hearts, the only good part about Valentine's Day!) But she probably didn't expect me to get her anything. She knows how I feel about Valentine's Day.
I'll be honest. I haven't decided if I feel the way I do about the big V-Day because I'm single, or because I legitimately think it's the most useless holiday ever, second only to Groundhog Day. (And you all know how I feel about Groundhog Day.)
Valentine's Day, while it started out as a religious holiday which commemorated the death of a number of Christian martyrs who were all named Valentine, has become a marketing ploy by a number of companies to make money.
Greeting cards. Candy. Flowers. Jewelry.
Where it was formerly completely acceptable for a girl to be single the other 364 days of the year, those of us without significant others are left sitting on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a half-empty bottle of wine and crying while watching romantic comedies on TV. Wait...just me? Okay...
As if I'm not insecure enough about being almost 26 and STILL unmarried and working at Starbucks, let's add Valentine's Day to the mix, and I'll feel REALLY great about myself.
Please don't try and tell me that Valentine's Day isn't about being in a relationship, that it's about love of all sorts. Don't try and tell me that when all I'm seeing are ads for jewelry on TV. You don't give diamonds to your best friend, or your dad, or your teacher.
Don't try and tell me that when the question everyone asks is "What are your Valentine's Day plans?" and when you respond with "None," they get that awkward look on their face where they're trying not to feel sorry for you, but they're doing a terrible job of hiding it. It's the same look people give when you tell them you have to work on holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
I don't want your pity.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me for being single today,
or the other days of the year, for that matter.
I'm determined not to let the depression I experienced last Valentine's Day return to bring me down. There is nothing about my life that deserves pity.
I have a great job, and I pay all my own bills.
I have a pantry full of food at home.
I have a home.
I have a family who loves me.
I am single, and it's awesome.
I have a gory action movie with my name all over it tonight.
I don't need a boyfriend to feel validated about my life, and I certainly don't need Valentine's Day.