Monday, November 3, 2008

Warning: this will probably be a bit depressing.

Lately, I haven't been feeling like myself, whoever (whomever?) that happens to be. I kind of feel like I'm going through my days in a daze. (haha. I enjoyed that.) But seriously, yesterday was a complete blurr. My performance at tonight's NASM recital was also a blurr. I don't remember a single moment of it. Wait, that's not true. I remember thinking at this one part, "whole step, whole step, half step, whole step, half step, half step." But that's about it. I don't even remember if it was good or not. (Side note: NASM is National Association for Schools of Music, and the music department here is trying to get accredited and the recital is for the music department to show off people of different talents and levels. I performed Quando men vo from La Boheme.) And afterwards, I just felt...nothing. I wasn't proud of myself for performing the piece, because I didn't remember if it was good or not. I didn't want to hear people tell me how well I did, because I didn't really care, to be completely honest. And I don't really know why.

Not only that, but I've also...been starting to care less about my classes. Wait...I do care about my final scene for A&D, but that's the thing I probably care the most about.

And I'm no closer to figuring out my life's calling or whatever than I was at my last entry, which is extremely discouraging.

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep forever.

1 comment:

  1. It might be hard to believe... but I can relate.