Music Monday #1: Your Mother and I

This post marks the first in a weekly series I'll be starting, Music Monday. Each Monday, I'll post about a song, album, or artist that moves me in some way, or just whatever catchy song I can't manage to shake from my brain. I'll confess I got this idea partly from Kirsti. Thanks, K!

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I was driving to Target today, in the snowstorm, trying my best not to skid all over the road, and sort of failing. While I was driving, I was listening to NPR, and they happened to play this song, by Loudon Wainwright. (There's talking and stuff at the beginning, but if you skip to 0:38, you'll get right to the song.) It's called "Your Mother and I," and he wrote it for his children when he and his wife split up.  

As I heard this song play, all of a sudden I felt five years old again, listening to my mom and dad tell me they were getting divorced. It was my own story, playing to me in song form. It's one of my earliest memories, hearing my parents tell me nearly all of the things in this song. 

I wish I had a place for this to go, for some moral to this story, a happily ever after. But I guess the moral is that life doesn't always work out like you planned. People make mistakes, life throws you a curveball or two. Sometimes all you can do is the best you can and trust God with the rest. 

But this isn't something you should feel bad about for me, friends. Things turned out pretty great, after all. 

Bah Humbug.

I'm supposed to write about Christmas. Isn't that what bloggers do? We write about holidays, about major world events, about our feelings.

I'm good at the feelings part. But not so good at the holidays or the world events part.

I did write about Christmas, last year.

But this year, I've been working a lot, and honestly, I haven't had much energy to think about Christmas, as bad as that sounds.

And to be honest, I still don't want to.

I had a bad day at work this morning, and then I broke off my car key in the lock for the trunk and was late for Christmas Eve dinner with my family. (Side note: Seriously? Who does this?! This is why we can't have nice things.) I'd like to give a special shout-out to my mother who is the best mother of ever for saving the day and bringing me a spare key.

But all I want to do is drink beer and watch non-Christmasy things and go to bed.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll be slightly less Grinchy.

Here's hoping I get a little Christmas spirit.

And just to prove I'm not a complete Scrooge:

The definition of irony, in case you were wondering

is having your car run out gas as you pull into a gas station which has also run out of gas.

Yes, gas stations can run out of gas.

And yes, this really happened to me this week.

Okay, so I wasn't completely out of gas. But had I left to go to another gas station, I would have run out on the way. In the middle of the road. No one wants to be that person who runs out of gas in the middle of the road.

All I could do was laugh.

Sometimes that's all you can do when life throws ridiculous curveballs like this at you. I'm learning that I shouldn't take anything too seriously, that sometimes I just need to laugh at my own rotten luck and get over it. 

So what did I do?

Luckily, a giant truck full of gasoline arrived with gas. But it was too late, the damage was already done. I was already an hour late for work. But my boss thought this was as hilarious as I did, and it ended up not being a big deal.

But there's your laugh for the week, friends. I have a much better appreciation of irony after this.

Can't I just sleep forever?

It's difficult for me to want to do much of anything these days. I work two jobs, I'm involved with church, and I can never seem to get enough sleep. It takes an excruciating amount of effort to get out of bed for work in the morning.

So when all of my effort is concentrated on being an adult and not calling in sick because I'd rather stay in bed, it's hard to want to do anything else. Including write. It's partly why I gave up on NaNoWriMo last month about two weeks in. And it's also why I haven't been posting lately.

I don't know what to do when this happens, when apathy this strong sets in. I want to care about things. I want to care about my blog, about work, about friends. But I don't.

I just seem to have this insatiable desire to crawl into bed and sleep until the second coming of Christ.

Any tips for me, friends? Any advice on how I get interested in life again?

Whoa.

I've known that violence exists in this world. I know that in my own city, people get mugged, raped, shot in the street. We all know that things like this happen. But a great deal of us will never be exposed to such violence. The violence that exists in our own cities will remain an abstract, far away concept, like the things we learned about in history class.

The other night, something happened which made all of this vividly real for me.

Someone was shot on our street this past Friday night, so close we could hear people screaming for help.

Believe me when I tell you, friends, you will never feel so helpless as when you hear someone begging for the help you know you can't give them.

Please, don't ask me if I'm okay, how I'm doing. Don't pray for me because of the neighborhood I live in.

Pray for your own city. Pray for God's mercy.

I hit the roommate jackpot, you guys.

On Tuesday last week, my roommate Renee left me. And it broke my heart.

Okay, so I'm being dramatic. She went to New York with her mom and dad for Thanksgiving.

But that's not the point. The point is, I MISSED HER SO MUCH AND SHE JUST GOT BACK YESTERDAY AND I'M SO EXCITED.

I literally tackled her as soon as she walked in the door. Literally. No word abuse involved here. I heard her key turn in the lock, sprinted down the stairs, and gave her a huge, football tackle hug.

9 Reasons Why Renee is the Best Roommate of Ever:

1. She makes jokes about creating a game called The Oregon Trail: Donner Party Edition. And I'm the only who laughs.

2. We stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking and laughing and drinking tea and swooning over Mumford and Sons and being boy crazy.

3. She likes to have conversations with strangers. It's super cute.

4. We do things like make a playlist of all the music we're ashamed to like, full of things like Fun., Hanson, Backstreet Boys, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers.

5. She doesn't judge me for my inability to stop watching The Vampire Diaries.

6. She has a strange and endearing affinity for Korean pop music. But not Gangnam Style, so don't even mention it.

7. SHE LOVES TO BAKE. This one is super important.

8. If you look up the word "empathy" in the dictionary, there should be a photo of Renee in there. She seriously loves and empathizes with nearly everyone she meets.

9. In all seriousness, she has an innate joy in her heart, which she can't help but let out. It's like she just radiates it, and I instantly feel better when I'm around her.

It's okay, you guys. You can be jealous of me.

Thanksgiving and stuff. Blah blah.

Ah, the obligatory Thanksgiving post. Like the obligatory Christmas post, New Years' post, and Fourth of July post, I dread this one.

I could post about the irony of people celebrating being thankful for things by gorging themselves on food, followed by a day which is the definition of greed.

But I won't. I'm sure you all already know how I feel about this.

So here we go. A real, live, "here's what I'm thankful for list." Because it's good to keep count sometimes.

I'm thankful for things like beer, chocolate, coffee, cranberry bliss bars from Starbucks, and computers. Seriously.

I'm thankful for a job. Two, in fact, including a new part time job with some women who are shaping up to be really awesome already.

Speaking of work, I'm thankful for some pretty stellar coworkers at Starbucks. I know I'm high-strung, and not always the easiest to work with. Thanks for being patient with me.

I'm thankful for some pretty awesome roommates, who deal really well with my crazy antics. I'm also thankful they like to cook. Yep.

While we're on the topic of roommates, I'm particularly thankful for my roommate Renee, who also happens to be one of my oldest, closest friends. She has this innate joy in her heart that is contagious, and it is such a privilege to be able to live with her.

I'm thankful to have parents who love and support me always.

 I could go on, but needless to say, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I went away for the weekend!

I was going to post on Thursday while I was traveling, but I was caught up in writing for NaNoWriMo, and also reading some really great books. And also, I was busy going on a brief weekend vacation to Sedona, Arizona, courtesy of my aunt and my grandmother. (Free vacation, HAI.)

ANYWHO. I've decided to share some of my best pictures from the trip. BECAUSE YOU GUYS. I just... I can't even. Pictures don't even do it justice. Everywhere you look, there's something that takes you're breath away. I still can't even believe that stuff that beautiful is real.

UGH. FEELS.

You all know that I'm an emotional slob. (Thanks for that, Dad.)

I may or may not have cried while watching Tangled for the first time recently. (Ask Emily for verification.)

I can go from zero to Hulk in 2.5 seconds.

And I'm not sorry. This is the way I was wired. I always have, and most likely always will feel emotions more intensely than the average bear. (Not real bears, guys. It was a random Yogi Bear reference for no reason.)

This week, my brain's emotion of choice is crippling anxiety and insecurity.

A little backstory: When I was a child, I was diagnosed with general social anxiety along with ADHD. I took medication for both until I was about 14, and they helped. A lot. I've been able to cope very well, and neither of these things have been much of a major issue.

But this anxiety and insecurity blindsided me.

We all have insecurities that lie under the surface, that we're pretty well able to ignore. This week, these insecurities are multiplied by about a thousand. And it's making me feel like a crazy person, you guys.

I know that all of the things I'm thinking and feeling are irrational and not logical. I KNOW that. But that doesn't change the fact that I still feel this way, that I still feel completely nuts.

So why am I telling all of this to the internets? I have no clue. I'm not looking for pity, don't worry. Maybe I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not crazy, that other people sometimes feel this way, too.

So, friends, if I'm a little absent for a while, it's just because I need to be a hermit for a bit. Just be patient with me.

This is supposed to be fun.

 I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist. I want to do something right. And if it isn't exactly right, I kind of stress out about it.

But I've decided. I'm not going to stress out about NaNoWriMo anymore.

No more getting worried about being a few thousand words behind the daily goal.

No more getting worried I won't finish.

No more beating myself up if things aren't going the way I expected.

I'm going to write what I write, and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not even going to think about the 50,000 words.

Because isn't the whole point of NaNoWriMo to just write and have fun?

Hey, writers. Give me advice.

I'll be perfectly honest. I'm procrastinating right now.

I've been trying to be good this weekend. I've been trying write and write like a good little NaNoWriMo-er. I even drove down to visit Emily, so we could write together.

But friends, I am a couple thousand words short of where I should be. I'm so far from being on track.

I am so discouraged right now.

I want to win so badly this year, mostly because I lost last year.

Here are some of my problems:

• I am so incredibly unfocused. I have complete ADD. 
• I am not emotionally connected to my characters. I haven't discovered why I care about their story. (This is a big one.)
• I don't really like my main character. I think she's kind of a brat who has no sense of familial duty. (This is another big one.)
• I can't decide on a narration technique.

So, friends, this is where I ask for advice. Any tricks I should try to get back on track? Any tips on focusing?

This is what you get.

NaNoWriMo starts today. National Novel Writing Month. Crazies like me and Emily attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.

I'm trying to get a jump start on my novel today. So instead of a post, you get some David Tennant. Happy Thursday, and Happy NaNoWriMo!

I just want to be able to watch TV again.

I've been staying away from the television for oh, a few months now. Instead, I've been watching my Revenge and The Vampire Diaries online the day after, (Hey, no judging. We all have our guilty pleasures.) as well as completely addicted to Alias on Netflix. (Side note, does anyone else think Sydney Bristow is the WORST spy ever? Just me?)

Want to know why? Although I'm pretty sure most of you are smart enough to know the reason.

CAMPAIGN ADS. Campaign ads are a thing straight from hell, sent by the devil to torture the majority of Americans who despise political drama.

I watched the morning news with my roommate this morning from about 7:30-9:30am. In that span of time there were only three commercials that weren't campaign ads. Three. That's it. So that means a lot of hostility and wanting to hulk out on my part, because we all know how many commercials one can see in two hours of television.

Also? Out of two hours worth of campaign ads, only one was positive. Only one said, "These are the things that I stand for, so I'm asking for your support," and did not engage in smear tactics.

That's the worst thing about campaign ads. 99% of them only talk about how bad the other guy is, about all the horrible things they did, instead of presenting what the candidate whose ad it is has to offer voters.

Is this all politics is? Is this all voting is? Listing candidates list of wrongdoings and then voting for whose list is the shortest? Because this is not what I signed up for. We are better than this. Our country is better than this.

These kinds of smear campaigns are what prissy little high school girls do to each other to wreck each others lives. And last I checked, no one who is running for public office is a prissy little high school girl. Unless I overlooked someone, in which case, feel free to correct me.

So please. If you're running for public office, do your country a favor and grow the hell up. Adults do not do this to each other. Adults do not engage in disrespectful behavior such as walking all over debate moderators. They do not take the coward's way out in campaigning and smear the other guy instead of stand up for something for once in your rich, educated, privileged life.

I'm sick of politics. I'm sick of campaign ads. And I'm sick of people treating each other like garbage.

I like talking about myself

Okay, so last week, Kirsti gave me this blog award thingy over on her blog.

Hey thanks, K!


11 Facts:

1. I am a walking contradiction.
2. I have a habit of staying off of the internet for days at a time.
3. I have a freckle on my lip, which I think no one but me has ever noticed.
4. Rain makes me want to sleep until forever.
5. I know you all know this, BUT I LOVE LISTS.
6. I AM ADDICTED TO TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
7. Every time I become afraid I'm going to end up alone, God reminds me of the amazing friends that I have. (All together now: AWWW!)
8. I don't feel like I'm 26. Sometimes I get really weirded out when I start to think about how, for all intents and purposes, I'm an adult, even though I REALLY don't feel like it.
9. I'm running out of random things to tell you.
10. I gave someone beer as a birthday gift yesterday. It was Newcastle Brown Ale, in case you're wondering.
11. I am listening to Newsies (the movie soundtrack) in this coffee shop and almost failing at not bursting aloud into song.

Kirsti's Questions:

1. What's your favourite fictional pairing and why?
As in, favorite fictional couple? Well, I'm fond of Rose and Ten. Also, I honestly love Marco and Celia from The Night Circus. As well as Hermione and Ron from Harry Potter. They make me smile.
2. If you went travelling with the Doctor, what's the first place you would go and why?
Um. Too many places to choose from. So, I'm gonna say...he should surprise me. As long as it doesn't involve imminent death or injury.
3. What's your favourite Halloween related movie?
I don't really like Halloween-type movies that much, so I'd probably have to say The Nightmare Before Christmas.
4. If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?
A cat. Mostly because I think they're hilarious. And if people were animals, I would probably be a cat. Let's be honest, here.
5. Cake or cupcakes?
Can't I have both?
6. What's your favourite song at the moment?
Any and all songs from Mumford and Sons' new album, Babel. I'm hopelessly addicted.
7. What was your favourite subject in high school?
Does choir count?
8. What's your favorite 90s TV show?
Pretty much any vintage Nickelodeon shows.
9. If you could be any superhero, who would you be?
Let's be honest, it's much more fun to be the villain.
10. What do you like on your pizza?
Pepperoni. Extra sauce. Extra cheese.
11. Do you have any weird phobias?
YES. Well, mostly they're weird quirks and not really phobias. Like, I have to have all of the doors closed at night when I'm sleeping--closet, bedroom, etc. I don't know why. But I can't sleep if they're not closed. I also have a distinct fear of sleeping or showering at night when I'm home alone. 

Here's where I'm supposed to nominate 5 people. But I'm going to cheat, as well as take a cue from Kirsti, and ask any and everyone who wants to post answers to the following questions in the comments! Also, I nominate these people:

My Dad
Emily (even though Kirsti already nominated her.)
Alice

My Questions for YOU!

1. What's the most terrifying dream you've ever had?
2. What is the very best meal you've ever eaten?
3. Name one (or two) of your favorite books, so I can add them to my reading list.
4. Coffee or tea?
5. What is your favorite book in the Harry Potter series?
6. What is your favorite time-wasting activity?
7. Tell me one thing you like about yourself.
8. What do you do when you're sick at home?
9. Name your favorite guilty pleasure TV show.
10. What is the worst book you've ever read?
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?

The rules:
1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award Presenter on your blog.
2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
3. Copy and Paste the award to your blog.
4. Nominate at least 5 blogs (up to 11) to receive the award.
5. Inform them of their nomination by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Include 11 random facts about yourself in your post.
7. Answer the 11 questions the person that has nominated asked you and create 11 new questions for the people you have nominated.

Answer my questions! And have a beautiful day!

Be grateful you're not me.

Most of you already know I work for Starbucks. Some of you even know that I've been opening every morning. Open is at 5am. We need to be there at 4:30am. Which means I have to wake up an hour which I'm pretty sure not even God himself is awake for. I mean, if I were God, I'd still be sleeping then. But then again, there's probably a reason why I'm not God.

Reasons why you shouldn't wake up at 3:30am every morning

• Your body doesn't want to wake up then. It doesn't matter how early you go to sleep the night before, it knows that it's still the middle of the freaking night and that it should still be sleeping.
• I'd say you get used to it, but that's a lie.
• No one likes going to bed at 7 o'clock at night. I don't. You wouldn't either. 
• You're tired all the time. It doesn't matter how much you sleep at night, how often you nap, you're always tired.
• Um, DUH. 3:30am!

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.
-Matthew 25:35-36, 40

I was on my way home from grocery shopping, waiting at a stop light. And so was he. He couldn't have been much older than me, and he held a small cardboard sign that read "Hungry and homeless, anything helps."

My eyes glanced from the sign to his face. I had a front seat full of groceries; it would have been so easy for me to share my food with him.

But I didn't. I looked away.

I did what so many other people do to the homeless. I looked away, pretended he wasn't there. I looked him in the face, right in the eyes, and I still looked away.

Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.
-Matthew 25:45

I did not do what I could for this young man. I was Jonah, ignoring God's call to minister to His people. I have sinned not only against this man, but against God himself, and I have never felt the weight of sin so acutely. And, to tell the truth, I have never been so afraid for my salvation until now.

Father, I beg not just for forgiveness, but that you would change my heart. Make it one that would care for your people. And please, Father, provide for that man because I did not.

How to cope when your house feels like a walk-in freezer

The last few days have brought cold weather to St. Louis, as well as numerous other locations, from what I understand. It is undoubtedly fall. It is also undoubtedly cold in my house. It's old, poorly insulated, and we don't have our heat on yet. You can imagine the degree of my physical discomfort.

So, friends, this post is brought to you by the letter C. For cold. And complaining. Because it's really cold, and I'm good at complaining.

How to deal with a cold house:

• Drink lots of hot drinks. Tea, coffee, hot chocolate, hot toddies, whatever floats your boat. I'm on my second pot of coffee today, just to get a little warm in me.  
• Open the curtains. I realize part of the theory behind curtains (besides keeping people from seeing you naked in your house) is to insulate the windows from the rest of the room. But sunlight=heat. If you let in the sunlight, the room will get a little bit warmer.
• Wear all of your clothes at once. Seriously. Layers are key. Wear two pairs of socks if you have to, anything to avoid your extremities feeling like popsicles.
• Sleep a lot. This one is tricky. The covers on your bed will be very cold at first from unuse, so it'll be difficult for you. But if you can be brave, stick it out, eventually it won't feel cold anymore. And if you're sleeping, you won't know that it's cold.
• Put lots of blankets on your bed. This will help with the above. I always find the weight of lots and lots of blankets on me to be comforting. Besides making it a bit warmer, it helps me sleep easier, too.

 So, friends, what are your cold-house remedies?

In case you're wondering why I'm always over-caffeinated.

As if I need to explain why. This one should just be a "Well, DUH." But it's Monday, and I need to post about something, and the rest of my life revolves around coffee so why not my blog, too? (That was a run-on sentence, and I'm only sort of sorry for it.)

5 Reasons Why I Love Coffee

1. The obvious one. There's the whole caffeine part, the part that wakes you up in the morning, that gives you that extra boost to make it through the last part of your day. I secretly love that shaky, hyper feeling you get when you accidentally drink too much coffee.

2. Hot brewed coffee. The smell, the taste, the way it warms you from the inside out on a cold morning.

3. The complexities. The way each coffee from each growing region, each roast, each brand, is different, tastes different, smells different. Coffee isn't just coffee. There's so much to taste in each cup.

4. Espresso beverages are fun! Not only do espresso beverages like lattes, mochas, and cappuccinos taste yummy, they're also super fun to make!

5. It's so interesting! I could go on and on about how intense the process is from the coffee tree (Yes, coffee is the seed of a fruit that grows on trees!) to your cup. Most people don't wonder where their yummy cup of coffee comes from, but if they did a little digging, they'd learn oodles they never knew before!

So, friends, what's your favorite part about coffee?

Because sometimes, you just have to eat ice cream and watch Hugh Grant dance.

I started to write a post about how my emotions are all out of control lately and I'm sick of it, blah blah. But then I decided it would be a much better idea to just give you this GIF of Hugh Grant dancing in Love Actually.

Source

I'm in love with a fictional character. I mean...um...

It's time for another Doctor Who post, mostly because Emily and I are getting ready to catch up on this current season's episodes tomorrow night. Or, you know, just because. Who says I need a reason to write about The Doctor? 

Also, this post will be in list form. You all know that I'm a little obsessed with lists.

Places (or time periods) I would want visit in the TARDIS:

We all have a list, don't we? Places we would want The Doctor to take us once he begs us to run away with him forever in the TARDIS. After much difficult thought, here's my list, in no particular order.

1. The planet of the Oods. Is it weird that I would want to go here? It looked so beautiful. Also, the whole psychic singing thing is really interesting. On the other hand, their faces freak me out. Real bad.
2. The library planet. I mean, other that that whole flesh-eating Vashta Nerada incident, come on guys. A whole planet. With every book in the universe ever.
3. The 1960's, to see The Beatles play. But only if I actually get to listen to their music, and not a bunch of screaming girls. Although I can't exactly guarantee that I wouldn't start screaming along with them because OMIGODTHEBEATLES.
4. Australia. But mostly to see Kirsti, who gave me the idea for this post, and because I've never been to Australia before. But sorry, Kirsti, you can't come with us. He's my Doctor, and I'm not sharing.
5. Back in time to do nerdy music things, like see original performances of pieces by guys like Beethoven and Bach and Mozart and Puccini and other awesome dead guys.

I could put down a lot more, but it would make this post exceedingly long and I would probably lose your attention before I got the chance to ask you what YOUR list would be!

So, Whovians, what's your list? Where would you ask The Doctor to take you, should you ever get whisked away in the TARDIS?

Happy Birthday to ME.

This morning, the morning of my 26th Birthday, do you know what I woke up to find?

This lovely lady making the best birthday breakfast of ever for me!

Renee, one of my roommates and also one of my most favorite ladies ever made birthday pancakes for me!

Chocolate chip pancakes, complete with strawberries and homemade whipped cream! Also, bacon. That nearly overshadows the pancakes, because, well, bacon.

And yes, it tasted as good as it looks. What a great start to my birthday!

Too many pretty pictures!

 This is going to be another "I'm going to brag about how awesome my life is now" post. So if you don't like gloating, then you can go away. But on the other hand, there are going to be pictures. So if you like those, stick around.

Basically, on Saturday I spent all morning at the Missouri Botanical Garden. It's free for St. Louis residents on Wednesdays and Saturdays before noon. I went with my beautiful, amazing roommate Renee. Here is some of what I saw:

Ducks!

It was so beautiful. I wish you all could have been there, friends!

Give Me Stuff!

YOU GUYS.

I turn 26 in a week. ONE WEEK. One year further into adulthood.

Don't worry. This won't be one of those "OMG I'm an adult I'm getting old somebody help me" posts.

This will be one of those "It's my birthday soon, so give me stuff" posts.

The following are acceptable birthday gifts:

•  An all-expenses paid vacation, preferably to a place that looks like this:

 

•  A boyfriend who looks and dresses like this:

• A new phone, because mine is a piece of garbage.
• New bedding for my bed, preferably some that doesn't look like I bought it a bajillion years ago.
• A new car. I'll take this one, please:

 

I know I gave you short notice on this, so it's okay if they're a little late.

You should be jealous of my life.

Two weeks ago today, friends, I moved back to St. Louis, into a 3-bedroom house occupied by Renee, who is one of my oldest friends, and Jenny, who is shaping up to be an awesome new friend and roommate.

It's only been two weeks, but it already feels like home here. My bedroom is poorly insulated and is hot all the time, but I love it.

Look! I've even got pictures and stuff hanging up!

See? Isn't it cute?

Oh. And? Jenny has a dog. Meet Lottie.

Adorable!

Bottom line is, friends, I'm already having a blast.

3 Reasons Why You Should Stop Complaining and Change Your Life

Sorry I've been such a bad blogger this week, friends. Sundays are shaping up to be really busy days already. I won't have time to post, so I've decided to post on Mondays instead. Not that many of you probably care.

But on to today's post!

3 Reasons Why You Should Stop Complaining and Change Your Life

1. I don't like hearing you complain about it all the time.

I know this one is a bit hypocritical since we all know I'm the Queen of Complaining.

But seriously. I know a bunch of people who have complained about how they hate X, Y, or Z about their life and AREN'T DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

If it really bothers you that much? Do something about it.

Hate your major? Change it.

Hate your job? Look for a new one.

Hate your city? Move.

I don't care what you do, just make it so you're not constantly telling me about how much you hate your life.

2. Life is too short.

This is a big one. Life is too short to be living in a city you hate or working a job you despise.

Find something you love and go do it.

3. It'll make you happy.

Seriously. Who doesn't want to be happy in life? Silly people, that's who. And none of you seem like silly people to me, friends.

Disclaimer: I never said any of this would be easy.

Here in America, especially, we've become lazy. We think things should just be easy, and if it's difficult, it's not worth doing.

That is so unbelievably false. Sometimes the most difficult things to accomplish are the most worthwhile.

You might have to search a while to find a job you love. You might have to work more to save money to move. You might actually have to put a little effort into your life instead of sitting on your ass.

But if you can get over this belief nowadays that things should be easy, then you just might change your life. And it could be awesome.

I'm finally here!

I'm trying really hard to write in complete, understandable sentences and not do a complete word vomit about how excited I am right now.

Because this time last week, I was living in Branson, with most of my things still in boxes.

But today? Guess where I am. Just guess.

If you guessed St. Louis, in my cute little bedroom in a cute little house that I share with two other awesome women, you'd be completely and totally correct.

I'll post pictures eventually. Right now it's still kind of a mess, and I have plans to transform it into a big girl bedroom that looks completely wonderful and feels like home. And when I do, rest assured that I will brag about it to all of the internet.

It just seems all a little surreal. I've been talking about moving back to St. Louis for more than a year, and now I'm finally here.

Great things are in store for me, friends. I can feel it.

3 Reasons Why You Should Give Your Stuff Away

Since we last chatted, friends I did A LOT of packing. A lot. Because I have a lot of stuff.

And if you're looking around your house, feeling rather oppressed by what you see, you should do what I did.

Get rid of it!

3 Reasons Why You Should Give Your Stuff Away

1. It means you have less stuff.

I mean, think about it. We've all got stuff sitting around that's just sitting around. We don't use it. It's just taking up space. Why? Why are you letting it take up space in your life? You're better than that. You don't need it sitting on your couch, eating your food, drinking your beer, not helping you pay the bills.

What should I do with this stuff I'm not using? Well, friends, I'm glad you asked.

Donate it!

Box or bag it up and take it down to your local thrift store!

It's just taking up space in your house anyway. Take it to a thrift store, where hopefully someone who isn't a hipster will buy it, take it home and love it forever.

 2. Having a garage sale is much too much work.


Lots of people have garage sales to get rid of their unloved and unwanted stuff.



But let's be honest. That takes WAY too much effort.

You've got to price EVERYTHING. You've got to advertise for it. You've got to set everything up. You've got to talk people into buying your stuff once they get there. You even have to have a garage, I'm pretty sure. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the work that goes into a garage sale.

3. Donating your stuff feels good.

Sure, you could sell your stuff to a resale shop. Sure, everyone loves money. But is money everything? Absolutely not.

If you donate your stuff to a place like a thrift store of a not-for-profit agency like The Salvation Army or Goodwill or a church thrift store, other people will benefit from the sale of your stuff.

You want to help people, don't you? I like helping people.


Now, go and get rid of your stuff!

I'm really just avoiding all the packing I have to do.

If you're planning on moving, especially over a considerable distance like, say, across a state, here are some things you probably shouldn't do.

1. Wait until the week you're moving to start packing.

Seriously, guys. I have a ton a crap in my place. And by "crap" I mean stuff that I've been hoarding since college and haven't gotten rid of. This includes but is not limited to: old calendars, certain textbooks relating to either of my majors, certain notebooks from random classes, bills, letters, cards, etc.

I'd post you a picture of the way my room looks right now, but it would just terrify you. I don't want to give you nightmares.

2. Hang out with your roommate when you should be packing instead.

I'm not sorry for this one. It was fun. But I will mention that before you hang out with friends maybe you should have more than one box packed. Maybe.

3. Write a post on your blog when you should be packing instead.

Are you sensing a procrastination theme yet?

4. Have a bunch of clothes you don't wear.

See? Not procrastinating.

This one is a big one. I get the distinct feeling that when I go through my closet, I'm going to be throwing out a lot of clothes. Or hoarding a ton of college t-shirts. One of the two.

5. Have a tiny car.

My car is named Dana. She is small. You can read about her here. My dad is helping me move, but I will mention that it might be easier for you if you have a larger car than I do. Just saying.

Here are a couple of things that you can do if you find yourself a week away from moving and freaking out about it:

1. Find people to take your stuff. 

Have a garage sale. Donate it to a thrift store. The less stuff you have around that you don't use, the better. Just get rid of it.

2. MAKE A LIST

If you've been following along at home, you know that I think lists are pretty much the greatest organizational tool ever. If not, go read here. And here.

That's my list. It has checkboxes and everything! That's the best part about lists! Being able to cross something off when you've done it. As you can see, I've got a lot of empty checkboxes. So I'm going to stop dawdling and go do stuff.

How about it, friends? Any moving tips for me this week?

Things I Like That I Probably Shouldn't

Today isn't Thursday. Well, that's not entirely accurate. You're reading this on Thursday. But I'm not writing it on Thursday.Today is Monday. And I'm just now realizing I probably just broke some sort of blogging rule by telling you that. Whoops. If you could see my face right now, it would be the face of someone who DOESN'T CARE.

Wow. Sorry, you guys. I'm currently in St. Louis, cheating on Starbucks (Shh! Don't tell!) and having the best latte of my life at Kaldi's. I've had WAY too much caffeine already today, which means someone probably should have taken my computer away.

The reason? Today's post is brought to you by my obnoxiousness.

 Today I'm going to talk about things I like that I probably shouldn't like at all. Now, I've already written about junk food fiction. But this will be different. This will probably be basically anything I like that's bad. This way, you won't feel so awful about the terrible things that you like. See, friends? I'm really doing this for you. You're welcome.

1. Lucky Charms cereal

I know, I know. Lucky Charms has to be the worst breakfast cereal for you ever. But it's so good, you guys. It's like eating dessert for breakfast except it's socially acceptable because it's cereal.

2. Bread

The carb thing, I know. You don't have to tell me that. But it's so good. I've definitely been known to eat a piece of bread as a snack.

By now you're probably wondering if all of these are going to be about food. Maybe. Whatever. I don't even care.

3. Speeding on the highway

See? This one isn't food.

And not speeding exactly. More like a general propensity for driving fast. I try not to, you guys. But I have a need...

A need. . . FOR SPEED.

Sorry. I couldn't help it. I like gratuitous and obnoxious movie references. Which brings me to number 4.

4. Being obnoxious

This is a big one. I love being obnoxious and annoying on purpose, for no other reason than that it brings my sick, sadistic heart a little joy. This includes, but is not limited to talking in strange voices, singing badly on purpose, singing irritating songs over and over, and talking loudly on purpose instead of on accident.

I'm going to leave it here. That's how much I like being obnoxious. I'm tempted to give you a nice, even 5 points. I even have more stuff to tell you. But I won't do it, just to prove a point. Part of me is really irritated by it, but the other part is really satisfied.

So there you go. Have a great day, friends.

What Makes A Whovian

I've been thinking lately. Not good, I know. What have I been thinking about, you ask?

Doctor Who. A shock, I know. So it should go without saying that if you don't like Doctor Who, get out.

   Here's a picture of Nine for you to look at, while we wait for the haters to leave.

 Source

I couldn't NOT include Ten. Isn't he beautiful? Source

And there's Eleven. Adorable! Source

Great. Just us Whovians now? Good. Hello. How's it going? I hope you're not torturing yourselves too much with episodes like "Doomsday" or "The End of Time."

What I was thinking about specifically, was us. Whovians. What draws some to Doctor Who, but not others.

It's not merely an affinity for science fiction. It's something else.

A couple weeks ago, I implored my fellow Whovians on social media to tell me what it was they liked most about the show.

I received a plethora of answers in return. Kirsti posted this article on cracked.com in her response, which is a pretty fitting description of why people like Doctor Who. Many said the adventure, the stories, the emotions, the relationship between the Doctor and his companions.

One of my favorite answers came from Emily: "It shows the best and the worst in humanity. It's all about the underdog. Anyone can make a difference and everyone is important. Life should be valued. Sometimes the world just needs saving. It's making the tough calls."

And these are all true. We all love the adventure, the emotions, the Doctor in the TARDIS. 

But the thing is, I'm not wondering about the show. I'm wondering about us. What inside of us draws us the show, what is it about ourselves that makes us such loyal followers?

I've been thinking about it a lot, friends, which is why I haven't posted in a while.

We're dreamers. 

We dream of the far away places to which the Doctor can take us. We have restless spirits. Our hearts pine for the places we haven't been and the people we haven't met. We long to see the the world, to learn what it has to teach us.

We're romantics.

Think about it. It all sounds a quite romantic. A perfect stranger shows up and offers all of time and space to you. Which of us would honestly refuse if the madman in the blue box showed up to take us away? Which of us doesn't want to be swept off their feet and given all of time and space?

We're emotional.

We torture ourselves with repeated viewings of episodes that leave us in a crying heap on the floor. We all know those particular episodes that wreck our hearts completely. Yet we keep going back. We know the value of a good cry, we know how useful tears can be. But in addition to craving the lowest of lows, we crave the highest of highs. We rejoice when everyone can be saved, when there's a happy ending for everyone. Because when we experience these intense emotions, it is in these moments we feel alive.

We want to be important.

The Doctor has a habit of making his companions realize their own importance. They aren't important because the Doctor makes them so. They merely had it in them all along. Sometimes you need someone to remind you that you're important.

This last one is why the role of the companion is so essential to the show. We are the shopgirl who absorbs the heart of the TARDIS and saves the universe. We are the temp who is the most important woman in the universe. We are the Last Centurion. 

I think it's not merely the show we love, although it is quite brilliant. It's us. The show has captured something of ourselves and placed it in the show. It so very wonderfully shows us the things we truly want. We want adventure, we want to feel alive, we want to be important, we want the madman in the blue box to come and take us away.


Now I want to know what YOU think? Am I anywhere close to being on target, or am I overthinking again?

Is it really August?

I'm freaking out, you guys.

It's August now, and so I'm freaking out. Not because I start school. Are you kidding? I'm done with that for a long while.

It's because I move at the end of this month!

I'm freaking out because I'm so excited to be back in St. Louis, to start at my new store, to be closer to my parents and my friends.

But I'm also freaking because YOU GUYS. I still don't have a place to live.

I know that all of the stressing about it is completely unnecessary, that I'll find a place. But we all know how irrational and emotional I can be, so for now I'm FREAKING OUT about it.

That's all I have you guys, except this little nugget of magic I discovered this week. It's not really relevant to anything, but completely beautiful:

Ben & Jerry's and the Unexplained

It was very difficult for me to start this post, friends. I got home from work today, completely and utterly exhausted.

But the thing is, it isn't so much physical exhaustion.

I found myself curled up in my chair with my baby blanket, my teddy bear and a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream watching Olympic coverage. And I realized.

I'm sad, friends.

I'm sad, and there's just no reason for it.

For some of you, this won't make sense. But for a lot of you, I know you understand. I know you understand how you can just need to curl up with a blanket by yourself, how you can feel sad and a little depressed and not quite understand the cause of it.

I've had someone ask me why I can't just be happy.

Because sometimes, it's not that easy.

Sometimes you just need to curl up on the couch with your Ben & Jerry's and be sad for a while.

Rainy Days

I was going to be so productive, you guys. My shift tonight at my part-time job selling ladies' panties (Raise your hand if you hate the word "panties.") was cancelled, and I was going to get so much done, you guys.

I was going to clean my bedroom, and my bathroom, and maybe even the kitchen.

But then it started raining. I don't know about you, but it starts raining, and I lose all desire for productivity.

What is it about a rainy day that makes us want to crawl in bed and nap, or curl up in our favorite comfy chair with a good book or our favorite movie with a cup of coffee or cocoa or tea?

Is it the darkening sky in the middle of the day? The wonderfully soothing smell of rain? The sound? 

Whatever the cause, it always manages to chase away every last desire in me to do anything resembling work.

So what did I do instead of cleaning?

I sat on my balcony and enjoyed a cup of iced earl grey tea (Yep. Be jealous.) and read my favorite book ever. (Which happens to be White Oleander by Janet Fitch. In case you were wondering.)

I also took a trip to the bookstore, sat in the aisles reading the books, and then purchased my own copy of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, instead of still borrowing Emily's copy. (Don't worry, Em! I'm going to mail it back to you! I promise!)

Last but not least, I made myself comfortable on my balcony again where I'm currently taking a break after watching Doctor Who (Season 4, "Silence in the Library," in case you were wondering.) to write this blog and enjoy the deliciously orange evening light.

Eh. That sounds productive, doesn't it? It involves books, and reading, and getting dressed and going places. Yes. Productive.

Now, I know I'm not the only one who suffers from rainy day laziness. What's your vice on a rainy day?

Tragedy

Everyone is talking about it. That's perfectly understandable. Why did it happen? Who's to blame? What's to blame? Everyone keeps saying how sorry they are, what a tragedy it is.

And it is a tragedy. A terrible tragedy.

But I'd be lying if I said news of mass shootings like the one this week in Colorado shock me anymore.

I was in middle school when the Columbine High School shooting happened in 1999, and it seems to me that ever since then, more and more of these terrible random shootings happen every year.

In the inevitable debate from the aftermath of this most recent shooting, I keep seeing people cast the blame on a lack of gun control here in the US.

But are we really that surprised that it happened? Honestly, I'm not.

In a country where movies and television shows depicting terrible death for entertainment, are we surprised?

In a country where children play video games which enable them to act out a death and war fantasy for fun, are we surprised?

History tells us there used to be another country, an empire, where its citizens gathered together to enjoy watching the slaughter of others.

And we condemn that history openly, we say how barbaric it was.

But with our violence-filled entertainment, are we really that different from Rome?

The thing is, America is beginning to remind me more and more of the things that I know of Ancient Rome.

Don't mistake me. I'm as guilty as everyone else of partaking of violent entertainment. And I'm starting to question it. I'm starting to question my choice of entertainment.

Please don't take me for one of those people who say that the video games are to blame.

I'm also not suggesting the government police the things that we watch on television or in movies, the video games people play, the books people read.

What I am suggesting is that maybe a lack of gun control isn't the only culprit.

Perhaps we ought reexamine the entertainment we surround ourselves with. Perhaps we ought to examine what drives these so obviously ill and desperate people to do these awful things. Perhaps we ought not to be so quick to blame gun control.

The real root of this problem is too complex to blame on one issue.

These terrible shootings are a perfect storm of bad things: easy access to weapons, a mentally unstable person with a lack of adequate resources available to them, and an entertainment industry which suggests this sort of violence is an acceptable response.

I'm not convinced taking guns away from people will fix anything.

Disaster

For two days this week, I was privileged to serve with my Dad and best friend, Emily in Joplin, MO. This week, they're there with a group of others from their church, conducting Camp Noah at a church and school there.

Camp Noah is a program designed specifically to help kids who have lived through natural disasters.

The tornado in Joplin was over a year ago. But there are still so many children who have been through such terrible things, who are still hurting so much.

It seems to me that children are a little bit forgotten when terrible disasters like tornadoes happen. People are eager to help, eager to volunteer their time to rebuild. But what about the mental and emotional damage the children suffer?

I'm not trying to preach to you. I'm not trying to guilt you into giving your time or money into programs like Camp Noah.

But at the very least, pray for these children, not just in Joplin, but everywhere who still suffer so greatly from these kinds of disasters, and pray for those who minister to them.

Another List, Pt. 2, or Why the World Needs List-Makers

Today's post is brought to you by the letter "L." "L" stands for "lists."

If you've been following at home, you'll know I love lists. You'll also know I blogged about lists in list form, here.

Yep. That's how nerdy I am. I'm spending not only one post, but TWO posts talking about how great lists are. But that's not the point. The point is, LISTS.

Reasons Why The World Needs Lists
1. If you make a list, you won't need to remember.
Don't you hate it when you can't remember the thing you told yourself you were going to do? Or that stuff you were going to get from the grocery store? If you write it down, you won't forget. More importantly, you won't need to remember it.


2. Lists are cool.
I make lists. Lists are cool.


3. Lists make everything go more smoothly.
For example, I made it in and out of Walmart this evening in a timely manner, thanks to my shopping list! And I only experienced homicidal feelings once.

4. They make you seem organized.
 You may actually be a slob like me, but if you make a list, people will think, "Hey, they made a list. That's something that organized people do. They must be organized too!"


Moral of the story? Make lists. They're cool. They make you look organized. You won't need to work to remember stuff. Everything will go quicker. And you won't kill people.

11 Facts, 11 Questions

So a few days ago Kirsti over at Melbourne on My Mind tagged me in this post. So now I'm supposed to share 11 facts about myself and answer 11 of her questions. But I'm not going to tag anyone else. Kirsti already pretty much tagged all of the blogs I follow. Oh, except for two. So here they are:

My Dad! at Thoughts of a Traveler
Racheal, at Memoirs of an Amazon

Now, down to business.

11 Facts About ME

1. I have a tendency to be irrationally afraid of being alone.
My roommate and I keep a softball bat in the front closet, for safety purposes, and when she's gone at night I sleep with it by my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and tries to kill me in my bed. I'm also irrationally afraid of showering when I'm home alone. I blame the movie Psycho. I've never seen it, but I know the pretty girl gets it when she's showering.


2. I love the smell of library books.
I don't know why. I just do.

3. I really want more tattoos.
I've got one on my back and a small one on my left wrist. But I really want to be one of those girls who can get away with having a huge backpiece, or a sleeve or something. But I don't know what I would get. Sad panda.

4. I stole that phrase "sad panda" from Kirsti.

5. I try and work quotes from Doctor Who into everyday life without anyone noticing.
My most favorite to use is "Just stand there, cos I'm gonna hug you." Recently though I was prompted to use "Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead."

6. I am exceedingly messy.
Anyone who's ever lived with me ever can attest to this.

7. I HATE cooking.
I can cook. A little. But I don't like to. Most of the time it's just too much effort to waste on just myself. My future husband better be able to cook. Just saying.

8. I hate hardcover books.
I only buy paperback books. Hardcovers are expensive, the dustcovers are annoying, and they don't fit easily into a purse.


9. I love guacamole.
If you put a huge bowl of it in front of me, I WILL eat the whole thing. By myself. It's kind of a problem.


10. It takes a lot for me to want to not finish a book or movie.
For me to leave either unfinished, it has to be either really bad or really boring.

11. I have this really awesome ability to be irrationally emotional and logical at the same time.
I'll have a irrational emotional reaction to something, but at the same time I'll be able to recognize the irrationality of the reaction I'm having.

And now, on to the questions!

11 Questions

1. What were your favourite and least favourite classes in school?
Least favourite [I'll go ahead and continue with the non-American spelling of that word. ;)] would be anything math or science related. I HATED IT. Favorite was pretty much anything music, art, or literature related.

2. If you could drop one of the following through a black hole with no possibility of return, which would you pick? a) The Kardashians, b)Octomum, c)Tony Abbott, d) Sarah Palin, or e)Lara Bingle?
First, I don't know who Tony Abbott or Lara Bingle are. So my answer would be pretty much either "a" or "d" is fine with me. Yep.

3. What's the best musical you've ever seen?
Do you realize you just asked someone who studied theatre AND music in college what her favorite musical is?


4. If you could travel to one place on earth without needing to worry about money, where would it be?
I have to pick one? I want to travel everywhere! But if I had to pick one I would say Zihuatanejo, Mexico, but only if I can stay forever. I went there with my family in January and wrote a little about it here. It's beautiful there.

5. Would you rather be trapped in a room full of screaming One Direction fans, or in a room with a flower that smells like rotting meat?
I can abide neither bad smells nor crowds of screaming girls. I really dislike you, Kirsti for putting this question to me. Okay, so...Flower that smells bad. Final answer.

6. Which five fictional characters would you invite to a dinner party?
Hehe. I love this question.

Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings
Martha, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf
Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter
Hamlet, Hamlet (But only so I can tell him what a dumbass he is!)

Should be an interesting dinner party, huh?


7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Artist, veterinarian, singer, writer, actress. But right now, I have no clue.


8. If you could go back in time to see one band in concert, which band would it be?
The Beatles. But only if you could guarantee there would be no screaming girls.

9. To quote Cordelia from the pilot episode of Buffy, what's your childhood trauma?
Hmm. Come over and have tea, and I'll tell you all about it.

10. Do you sing in the shower?
Surprisingly, no. I do however sing pretty much everywhere else.

11. Would you rather go to the Louvre or the Metropolitan Museum of Art?
Can I say neither and pick the opera?

Okay, kids. And by kids I mean Dad and Racheal. Here are your 11 questions, should you choose to accept this mission.

1. What's your biggest pet peeve?
2. What's your most embarrassing moment from your childhood?
3. If you were forced to participate in a volatile debate about either religion or politics, which would you choose?
4. What is the best meal you've ever eaten?
5. Who is your favorite fictional character and why?
6. Would you rather watch a presidential debate or an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
7. What are your top 5 favorite movies?
8. List three words that best describe you.
9. What is the absolute worst movie you've ever seen?
10. Do you have any bad habits?
11. Who has been the most influential person in your life so far?

This message will now self-destruct.

Things Better Left Unsaid

I wrote a post, which contained things I probably shouldn't share with the great wide internet. I had every intention of publishing it, but figured that it wouldn't help anything. I would still feel an ache in my chest. It wouldn't change a thing.

If you're reading this, I think of you often. And darling, whatever happens, you matter to me. Always.